Cranky Actress Blog

Got home and found out I got the part in the film with hat woman. I rose above the hat.

But I got the part I wasn’t that interested in really. I read for two parts. And I worked worked worked on the other role. I memorized it; I had like emotions, blah blah blah.

The part that I thought was less interesting, I didn’t really prepare much at all. This was my big strategy – I’ll do the less interesting part badly so they’ll give me the other part. Ah huh. But what happens is, when I read, the essence of nonchalance comes across totally natural, so I get the part I was less interested in. Weird right?

I can’t believe I did this to myself. I should have thrown off the part I really wanted and tried really really hard on the part I didn’t want. Then I would have gotten the part I wanted. Is this giving you a headache?

This is an example of the psychological fine line actors deal with all the time. You need to care about the work and kinda not care about whether you get the part or not.

You have to not care about what they think of you. Or what you think they think they are looking for.

Ever noticed how many actors do meditation, yoga, The Forum, flotation, breathing exercises, etc? How some of them are like crazy superstitious? This is why. The caring/non-caring fine line.

This is the main reason inexperienced actors totally suck when they first start auditioning. They build each audition up in their minds to be “the thing” that is going to make or break them. So when they get in the room they have an out of body experience and perform in a total panic. And when they go to walk out of the room, they go directly to the closet door. Then they leave their bag in the room and have to go back in. Then they trip on the way to the elevator.

You can be a total artist in a class and then totally tank in front of a table of auditionees.

I know an actor who says he auditions really well when he is sick as a dog. Wanna know why? He doesn’t have the energy to be nervous. Just does his work and gets the hell out of there.

It’s all about being in the right headspace.

I used to have to prepare a lot to get there before I went to an audition. It was ridiculous. I did a meditation tape, an hour-long yoga tape, and a half hour voice tape. I used to joke I had to do so many tapes I had no time for people.

If my husband heard AH HUM AH HUMA one more time he was gonna kill me.

Now I can roll out of bed and just go. I’m used to the drill. I know my work; I’m not looking for approval. I’m interested in what’s going to happen to me when I read.

But I’m like not impervious or anything. I am playing the role I tried NOT to get.