Listen up you college types. Are you looking for a major that is sure to lead to big beautiful bucks? Are you going to need a high income to pay off those pesky student loans? Is money your objective in life?

Well, we have the major for you. Race on down to your college counselor and switch that major to HISTORY. Yes indeed, history. No particular type necessary. American, European, Asia, World, State, National, specializing in war, politics, economics, ethnicity, or whatever else. It don’t matter. Just make it H I S T O R Y.

With a history PH.D. under your belt or bra, you too can enter the ranks of the one percenters, as in TOP 1%.

Corporations are waiting for your applications. Bankers, oil firms, pharmaceuticals, NRA, you name it, they are looking for historians to “consult” about consultable things. Just look up their history, and the history of their interest, and write them a paper or two, and they will shower you will dollars the likes of which you never expected.

Those who are especially adept at this historian consulting can make upwards of 1.6 MILLION dollars a crack.

Be the first in your dorm to sign up for this mega opportunity. Offer good while supplies last. (Or the gig is up, which ever comes first.)

Go Newt. Grift on.

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We have a TeaNutz® here in Iowa. We know this, because he advertises.

He owns property that abuts the I-380 freeway. He puts up signs for those heading north out of Cedar Rapids.

He informs us on how he feels.

In the run up to 2008, he put up a big old sign that said “Vote McCain-Palin”.

After that didn’t work, he put up. “How’s that Hope and Change coming along”.

Then he went to “Obummer”. He left that up a long time.

Then he went to “VOTE CAIN”. That lasted about three weeks.

Now he says, “Worst Ever”.

It’s unclear if he means Obama or the clown convention that is the GOP field.

Stay tuned.

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I’d be the first to tell ya. I don’t have much truck with the King James Bible. As a semi-serious student of the “bible”,  whatever that means exactly, I find it not a reliable translation of what was originally said.

That being said, it is a rich and fragrant bounty when it comes to beautiful language and catchy phrasing. In fact, the average person has little idea just how many of the common idioms of the day are taken directly from its pages.

Ever use the words: “bite the dust” or “blind leading the blind” or “scum of the earth” or “by the skin of one’s teeth”? Well you were quoting the KJV.

National Geographic has a great article all about the book that remains the most favored over-all to the average Christian.

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Newty has more than just Fannie & Freddie to explain of course. There are plenty more “historical consultations” he has been paid for. And as they dig, so they uncover. Jim Rutenberg, writing for the NYTimes, has interesting information about Newt’s activities with the Gundersen Lutheran Health System and Pharma. Hint: he takes the money, says what they want, and them publicly gets on the side of which way the wind is blowing in the GOP.

Seems that Newty and old Mittens have much in common.

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Ya gotta laugh at Herm. He’s rockin’ on as best he can as the absent a brain. He tried to smooze with Cubans in Florida. He was heard to turn aside to one of his handlers, and whisper, “how do you say delicious in Cuban?”

Herm, there is no “Cuban” language. That would be Spanish. Hermie, “bless his heart”, Cain (as Sarah refers to him), has taken a play from her book it seems, in basically knowin’ nothin’ ’bout nothin’.

Oh, and this just released by the Cain campaign: There will no longer be any electronics allowed in any room where the Cainster is speakin’. There will forthwith be no further questions accepted by anybody. Mr. Cain has concluded that every question is now a “gotcha question.”  (Not really, but heck, close enough to be accurate, and that’s all we aim at here! )

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Got all the pre-Thanksgiving shopping done.

The Menu:

 Succulent Roasted Duck

Stuff that Bird Italian Style Dressing

Mashed Potatoes with Giblet Gravy

Sweet Potato Casserole

Caramelized Pearl Onions

Cherry Ice-Cream Jello Salad

Relish tray

Fresh French Baguettes

Holiday Spice Bread

Pecan-Apple Upside Down Pie