Yā Ḥusayn
I am so ashamed tonight
More ashamed than I have ever been since I became a Muslim
because I don’t think I would have been strong enough to stand with you
on the plain of Karbala
I would have thought
“Why is he doing this?”
I would have thought
“I have a family that needs me and there is no way he can win”
I would have thought
“We still have the prayer, the fast, the pilgrimage and the Qur’an”
I would have thought
“This isn’t fard”
I would have thought
“I am a new convert, and I shouldn’t be expected to sacrifice so much”
I would have thought
“We are all Muslims, and I shouldn’t take sides”
but you – beloved grandson of the Beloved of the Creator of all that is –
you are not like me
you stand in the Truth
and from the center
see all the ways men go astray
such that if you had compromised, showed weakness, or acquiesced
all of us lost souls would have no qibla for our hearts
no guiding light to help us see through the darkness
and we would be left with tyranny and dissolution
where once there had been a light giving lamp
and had I lived on after your death
perhaps I would not have even been strong enough to publicly mourn your passing
fearful that those in Damascus would be watching and waiting
“We are all still Muslims”
I might have thought to myself
“I’ll just pray, fast, read the Qur’an, be good to my family, and insha’Allah that will be enough”
and perhaps many years later
I even might have signed up to march on Constantinople to absolve myself of the shame I felt inside
the shame of leaving you and your family in the burning sun
without so much as a word of protest
or a line of lament
but what value would there be in fighting the disbelief and injustice that infiltrates the cities of Earth
when my heart had already been laid waste by the forces of nafs, hawā, shayṭān, and dunyā
Allāhumma ṣalli ‘alā sayyidinā Muḥammadin wa ālihi wa sallim
yā arḥam al-rāḥimīn
yā arḥam al-rāḥimīn
I have no refuge except in Your Mercy
when You show me the hypocrisy that dwells within
Beautifully written
[…] This poem was originally published on the author’s blog: David Coolidge […]