Behind the song Life Goes On

For some reason life did not stop the day I gained a big gray cloud of depression and loss of myself. It just kept going. We ended up moving to Arizona not long after and soon after that my parents divorced. By this time I had learned how to just keep swimming through life. Life Goes On is song about how life keeps moving forward even when you are not ready for it.

Life Goes On

Verse

Life at thirteen had me questioning everything

Even the faith like a child that once made me sing

Questions like Who am I, why am I, what am I

So many wonderings and no one answering

By the time I hit the ripe old age of 13 I questioned so much of what I thought I knew. My mind was so distorted. I started drinking and experimenting with drugs by this time to numb the pain I had inside. The questions I had of who was I, why would God put me on this earth and what was I…..was I even alive. I had so much confusion and was to afraid to ask for help, honestly I didn’t even understand that that would have been an option.

Chorus

Still Life goes on and on and on

Even when we can’t go beyond Life goes on

It goes on and on and on and on….Life goes on

Life kept going on though even when I wanted to jump off the roof of a house where I found myself stumbling on top of….life kept going on. How could it not stop with me? Why couldn’t people see I was hurting.

Verse

Disappointments, unbelief, and insecurities

Seemed to follow me

All that energy used so carelessly

Creates a life of monotony

As a teen I thought I was indestructible, I think most of them do. I took chances then I would never take now…well I think I would end up breaking something if I tried the things I did back then thanks to time. Along with the risks came the same bad choices a confused, lost girl would make. Life was not stopping for me so I just went with it, wasting time. Making choices that got me into so much trouble and only increased the pain I had.

Chorus

Still Life goes on and on and on

Even when we can’t go beyond Life goes on

It goes on and on and on and on..Life goes on

Verse

I searched, I found, and still strived to find my ground

Time and time He showed me grace….

But you could not see it in my faith

Until that day I laid me down was I found

Don’t get me wrong I knew truth from the time I was 3 years old. I grew up in the church actually I come from 4 generations of Nazarene’s. I tended to ignore truth and keep walking over the edge of reason because I was determined to live a double life….which I get more into in my song Tip Toe.

Looking back I can now see how as a teen I was so self adsorbed not in the sense of look at me, look at me; but don’t look at me because you will see hypocrisy, ugliness and girl who wanted to just be gone. Both are pride….this took me years of working through things to figure out. Once I laid myself down and saw myself through the eyes of Jesus things became much more clear.

Outro

Life went on and on and on

Even when I could not go beyond life went on

It went on and on and on and on…life goes on

I grew, I walked, I fell down

But you were there reminding me it is we…ll

it is well…. with me.

All the ugliness that I saw, all the pain I went through, all the choices I made throughout my younger years were the result of the pain put on me and sin itself. Jesus saw this! He saw what I was doing to myself, He understood why. He has made so much beauty come from all the mess of pain! I now see myself through His eyes not my own. So it is well with me.