Notes from Office

Dated – December, 2010

• Office and blogging do not get along very well. So, if you are trying to write a post, like I am, chances are you will end up with a lot of drafts. Like I have. You will try to edit them, but the anti-creativity, sleep-inducing, boss-hovering aura shall just make you blankly stare at the screen. Like I have been doing for the past so many days. (Does not mean I don’t have work! 🙂 )

• There is nothing like ‘less work’. You either shirk work or put your sorry ass on the line. Currently, am a part of the latter. Next week, shall switch allegiance to the former. Expect a different post altogether on ‘Tips to Shirk Work Effortlessly’ 😉 I am quite the pro when I choose to be. 🙂
• That one hour after lunch is marked by the onset of sleeping sickness. One of those Murphy-like laws state that the moment you close your eyes for five minutes, thinking its safe, your boss shall walk in with a ‘I know what you just did’ swagger.
• Job satisfaction is like looking for gold at the end of the rainbow. And the more you expect from a job, the more you become leprechaun-like. 🙂 No wonder us folks from B-schools top the leprechaun hall of fame. 😉 We just expect the moon!
• If you joined IT (as a pseudo consultant) and thought you would never look at an SQL query again, who were you kidding anyway!
• Even if you find ONE person with a good sense of humour in office, hold on to the person like you got dumped by titanic and he/she has the only lifeboat around. 🙂 It is rare.
• If you know more than your boss does, shut your trap.
• Learn the art of Alt-Tab. The moment you spot familiar movement at a risky distance, fingers should press the combo without the brain instructing it to. Someone calls you behind your back, again..you know what to do. This art is an important entry in the book of  ‘Pretence of Work’
• Power napping in the loo is a pretty popular phenomenon. Quite the savior too! Stop frowning at it.
• You will always reach atleast an hour later than you planned to in the morning. You will always leave two hours later than you planned in the evening. Does not hint at your planning skills at all.
• Good looking men (or women) always work in some other city. And some other company. They don’t exist in your own.
• No matter how much you earn or how little, the balance inquiry on the 15th of every month shall give the same result.

• Paycheck day. Forget the above. Praise thy lord and thy luck for the blessing that is your job.