Time Out

Do you wish you can take time outs in life? I would love to get a chance to redo a few things, make better choices. Also tell myself that some people are temporary, and some are permanent.

When you decide to take a time out from Love, you remove yourself from the ideas of what come from them. The ideas of what love looks like, your fantasies, dreams, and goals. They all go out the window of reality when all the idea of love seems to come crashing like a ton of bricks.

If you have been following this blog for some time you will see that being in love, falling in love, or finally having love in my life doesn’t mix well. For some reason love and I are like oil and vinegar, it’s great for somethings, but doesn’t last.

I enjoy people watching, seeing how two people interact with each other, and how they show or express their love and appreciation for what each other brings to who they are. I’ll be honest I get jealous of that. I’m often told, “Just be patient the right man is out there.” I wonder if that’s really true? If so where the hell is he? Do I need to wait until I’m close to my death bed for a man to show up?

I always ask you guys to think about who you are inside and outside of any relationship you are in, and yourself. It’s important to know who you are and understand what you are all about.

I accept that at times I am a walking, talking, contradiction of my own life. I want love, but I don’t want to be owned by it either. I don’t want to own anyone, but I’m okay with him owning a little part of me. I value my professional freedoms, but want my private freedom completely occupied by him. Everything else in the relationship life can be figured out when two people truly understand who they are, and can own it together. I think that is where some of my family members have failed in that sense, they value money, I value the person who wants to be there for me and with me.

I think that’s why I know I’m okay with taking time out, checking out, not putting forth any effort into the ideas of love or its ideas. At 38 years old you get tired of people telling you, “You’ll meet someone. He’s out there, just be patient.” You know what I’m starting to believe that it’s all a lie, it’s a made up phrase to give me false hope. Some people are just lucky to find their one person, others just aren’t that lucky.

What do you think?