Bodies scattered around rooms
I thought I died when you left me.
I failed to take one breath,
Then another,
Then another
Isn’t it better to marry the earth?
Isn’t it better to surrender suffering?
I failed to take one step
Then another,
Then another
Isn’t it better to never know?
What would we have been
If your roots would’ve charged through me like veins, like a virus
Isn’t that what love is?
I turn to the toxic ones like a smoker with their fix
I cannot tell if my breath is becoming deeper or more shallow
Does it matter?
Does it matter, as long as the breath continues?
I’m not a champion
You were the athlete
I was the passerby,
Turned victim
You were the victim,
Turned perpetrator
The lines are so thin they bleed
The world is close to ending
Is as good a reason as any
To end mine
All paths lead to death
Is as good a point to make when you’re covered in shards of my heart
And I, still dancing with shadows
The visions blur and I wonder how many more breaths until the last breath
It doesn’t matter
I’m breathing,
In your mouth, my final organ beating
Do you hear the music?
Do you speak the language of living?
You must, with the delicate disaster you’ve made of me
The blood spatters like Rorschach plots
This one looks like murder,
And this one looks like love
Same eyes, disparate vision
Here lies my last decision.
(March 9, 2023)