February 23, 2011: When Sh*t Got Real

Now, ever since the seventeenth of February we had been waiting for the results of Timile’s biopsy results from the lumps in her esophagus and stomach. Those were tense days waiting and hoping for the best from those results all the while adjusting and enjoying being new parents. One of those days we got into a big argument in the hospital. Tensions were high and we both had a lot on our plates at the time but really the work was falling on my shoulders.

On the morning of the twenty-third Timile called me about coming up to the hospital as soon as possible. My sister came and told me Timile got the results back and didn’t know how to tell me that she was diagnosed with ardinocarcinoma-esophageal cancer. That’s one thing about Timile. She was always trying to be considerate knowing I had a lot on my plate trying to take care of both of us. I got there late because my sister and I went to go get some balloons, flowers, and a teddy bear. She was a little mad about that but she understood. When I got there the doctors came in, told me, and told us our options as far as treatments. They didn’t know what stage it was in just yet but we had a lot to do.

After a long day of making phone calls and taking care of Cydney. That evening Timile was taking a shower and I was outside talking to her. I actually didn’t have much to say because I was mulling over all that had happened that day. Timile said to me “I got cancer, yo! Tha fuck?!” I chuckled because she said it to be funny. I wasn’t really in a joking mood and she could see that. She said “If I can’t joke about it, then what?!” I laughed because she was doing what I would normally say and do. It was something she had learned from me and it had become our thing to handle things with humor. We didn’t talk about it the rest of the night because it had been enough and starting the next morning it was gonna be on handling this.

Looking back that was a lot to be handling in such a short time. When you’re in it you know but you’re focused on everything else that’s going on at the time. That was definitely the case. Your circumstances aren’t you, but how you handle them does define you and that was the beginning of me really becoming someone else. Other than the sense of humor, I don’t really think Timile would recognize me anymore from who I was then. I think she’d be happy though with how I’ve turned out though.