Dear DW,

 I am a very opinionated person and I’m not afraid to speak my mind.  Can someone be too mouthy to be a pastor’s spouse?

 Big Mouth

Jackson, MS

 Dear Big Mouth,

Good News-there’s no mold; God calls all kinds of people to be pastor’s spouses…even the mouthy ones!  I don’t think that you have to go through a personality lobotomy to be a ministry spouse.  God uses all that we are for His glory.

However, having said that, I do think that it is important for ministry spouses to consider that they have a much bigger influence and responsibility than the normal person in church.  As a ministry spouse, your opinions not only represent you but can be mistakenly assumed to be the opinions of your spouse, your spouse’s ministry, and/or the whole church staff! 

Consider your audience when you give your opinion.  Is this something that might influence their spiritual life negatively if I say it?  “Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity.  Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” Colossians 4:5-6 

Use your mouthiness as a vehicle of grace.  It’s an honor and a trust for God to give ministry spouses such a big of a sphere of influence.  Be who you are.  God chose YOU for this role, not some mousy, shy, fading flower.  Trust that He knows what He’s doing. 

Love,

 DW~