Fool…

I’ve been;
Feelin’ like a fool,
Head spinnin’ like a spool.
You had me;
Thinking I was cool.
So now I’m just,
Sittin’ at this barstool,
Wonderin’;
How many times,
I’mma have to start again.
Will the search,
Ever end?
—
The stake called mistake,
Impaling in my head,
Is more than I can take.
It’s giving me an ache,
That I just can’t shake.
Simultaneous nightmares,
Been keeping me awake.
Your feelings;
Were they fake?
Calling it truth,
Was just another lie.
How could you,
Look me up in the eye,
And cut my wings,
As I fly;
Crash down,
Just to die.
Must be a spy,
Who sent you?
Strangulate,
Watch me turn blue,
Cameras on queue.
I’m good at making,
A drink or two,
Turn into quite a few,
Pourin’ up;
That strange brew.
Who knew;
A collapse like this,
Would undo;
Moments that I grew.
Hard to have;
A masterpiece when,
Arthritis was in,
The hand that drew,
Every clue;
I phased through.
Felt like I slipped,
Into this world,
Like a wrong shoe,
Damn;
Look at how far,
This fool flew,
Harness false facts,
And;
Believe until they true.
I’m delusional; So,
What’s new?
Anything;
Or is it the same old trap?
Flippin’ dirt like a mud flap,
Full contact back slap,
Confidence unconscious,
Like a mid day brief nap.
Thought I was ahead,
Turns out;
I’m actually down a lap.
No; No; No,
How could this happen?
Belt buckled,
But I could never fasten.
What good’s the heart when,
You killed the passion?
Titan’s clashin’; For my,
Peace of mind’s last ration.
Looking back on time,
While;
The seconds ashin’.
Checks cashin’;
Some follow fashion,
Trends are not,
Where I find traction.
In a whole world,
This fool;
Makes up a fraction.
Swear;
Someone’s testing me,
Just hoping to get a reaction.
—
As I put flames,
To your photographs.
I watch the film burn,
While you smile & laugh.
All my favorite memories,
Of you turn to ash,
As any hopes of resurrection,
Slips my grasp.
If you can’t change the storm,
Then embrace the storm,
So I seek solace,
Within the aftermath.
Should I start new,
Or chase the same path?
I lust for love,
Until I feel the wrath,
My prideful good,
Too lazy to ask.
I hunger for something,
I cannot gasp,
I see you breathing it,
Nope; Gimme that.
Step on me;
I’m the welcome mat,
Ahh;
It’s you again,
Welcome back.
Watch me trip,
Back into;
That same trap.
I’m like;
The car still going,
But rolling on flats.
I know I got issues,
I wear em’ like tats.
Just a fool basking,
In a liquid fire bath,
Of brewing mistakes,
Within the vat.
—