Caffeine for the Brain

“The best words for resolving a disagreement are ‘I could be wrong.'” – Brian Tracy

Ah, the havoc we wreak in defense of our egos. Needing to be right is not only the primary impediment to resolving disagreement: it is the primary cause of disagreement.

Without getting terribly philosophical, the beginning of this condition is our belief that we are separate, unique, alone and vulnerable. If this is how we think, then our subconscious is tasked with the job of defending us against all who would make us wrong or harm us in any manner. This leads to what Stephen Covey calls a win/lose negotiation style. If the ego must triumph, then integral to winning is making sure the “other loses.

The cure for this condition is a shift in perspective. With a more global viewpoint, we see ourselves as part of a community of beings doing our best to live happy and productive lives. The desire for peace and harmony becomes more important than being right. We see and appreciate the benefits of all sides compromising so that none feel defeated or disenfranchised.

With this new, more productive perspective, we create less disagreement, easily and quickly resolve disagreements when they do arise and are in a position to learn. Being open to the ideas of others is how we grow. Defending our personal opinions leads to stagnation. To grow or stagnate – our choice to make each day. So, for me, today I choose to grow. I’ll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017 at 1:45 pm and is filed under Adversity, Communication skills, dispute resolution, negotiating, personal growth, Resolve. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.