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We are so different that I wonder how we fell in love 

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Some things are meant to last, others are just not meant to. I really believe this saying. 7 years ago, my ex-husband and I officially divorced after being separated for a year. We had some good times, but in the end I was too ambitious for him and he was not willing to allow me to achieve what I wanted to because of his low self esteem and insecurities.

7 years later and I have my Phd, living a good life and taking care of the two children we have together. My husband has since remarried and they have a child together. I have been taking care of our children since I gave birth to them. I was married to him, but I was handling 90% of the expenses at home including the children’s school fees, utilities and feeding. I had a better job than my ex-husband.

Just a year after our divorce, he impregnated another girl and I was at work one day when he called me asking to see me. So I made time for him and we sat to talk. He told me about how his online business was doing bad and he was trying to get it back on track and he needed some money to take care of his new baby. That was the day he informed me about the girl he impregnated. The story was a sad one so I gave him some money to sought himself out and he thanked me for it. Some weeks later he called me and asked for money again. It became a routine until one day I told him I can’t continue like this. Our first born was entering University and he wasn’t even asking about him, about what he eats or his education and school fees. It was so annoying.

He stopped calling, but he started using a different method. He gave my number to his baby mama and she will call me crying and begging for me to send her money because my ex-husband has left me for him. This thing became so serious that I was sending them money almost every month until the child was about two and his mother found a work as a househelp somewhere. To be honest I was glad when I heard he has married again, but my joy has been shortlived. Once again this man has become a burden to me. His new wife caught him cheating and has since separated from him. Surprisingly, his wife is also a career woman with her own job like me and she was the one taking care of home like I was doing

Now, my ex is back to asking me for money. I have done everything. I’ve blocked him, he knows where I stay, he knows where I work. He knows my family. He went all the way to my mother’s place to beg her to talk to me to find work for him because he says I have the links and I have intentionally decided not to give him a choice which is not true at all. When we got married and the problems started, my brothers even asked what kind of man I have married. He is lazy and always borrowing, yet he doesn’t want a woman to be ‘higher’ than him. The two of us are like oil and water. We are so different that I wonder how we fell in love. Right now, even though his baby mama is off my back, she still calls me occasionally for something small to take care of the child. I’m a mother myself, so I’m always moved with compassion to send the little I have to the child. Meanwhile his father is there and he doesn’t seem to care.

After all of this hardwork, when my children become great people in the future, he will beat his chest and claim them as his children. They will go running to their father because afterall they write his name. I just want to get him off my back. He should just leave me alone. I cannot change my number because I’ve used it for several years and many important people know it. Even if I do, he knows my home and work and he is tied to me because of the children we have. For context, we’re both in our 40s. How would you solve this if you were me?

Source: Anonymous Confessions

Kindly send your confessions and relationship issues to our email: societywatch1@gmail.com

Relationship

13 indicators that your wife is about to leave you and you have no idea

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Here are 13 indicators your wife is about to leave you:

People’s behaviour might alter dramatically during their marriage for a variety of reasons. If your wife suddenly appears distant, it might be due to stress, burnout, or depression, all of which require open communication to resolve.

However, her disengagement might suggest that she has checked out of the relationship and is seeking an exit strategy.

Here are 13 indicators your wife is about to leave you:

1. She has ceased disputing and disagreeing with you.
Many people feel that bickering more means their spouse is about to terminate the relationship. However, engaging in conflict implies she is still involved in the relationship. If she quits fighting, you should be concerned.

If she is no longer participating in heated talks and instead chooses to ignore you, she may have given up on making the relationship work.

Dr. Heather Browne, a marital and family therapist, offered an obvious indicator that someone has checked out of their marriage: “You don’t get angry, sad, or concerned because your partner isn’t important.” “You feel like nothing matters anymore.”

She has seen that battling makes no difference, and she has decided that she no longer cares.

  1. She saves spare furnishings and household stuff that she would otherwise throw away.
    Another indicator that she intends to leave is that she is hoarding goods she typically donates, such as out-of-season clothing or kitchen equipment and utensils. By storing stuff she wouldn’t normally store, she may be preparing to depart and stocking up on household needs she’ll need after you two no longer share a home.
  1. She installed the Zillow app on her phone and scrolls it ‘just for fun’.
    If your wife has a newfound interest in real estate, it might be a harmless pastime, or it could indicate that she is seeking a new home to reside in.

Looking at postings might be her way of testing the waters, seeing what’s on the market, and preparing to leave and move on.

  1. She is obtaining official copies of important paperwork.
    Another sign that your wife intends to leave is more subtle, but nonetheless cause for concern: she is gathering essential personal documents and storing them in a safe location.

If she’s holding onto her birth certificate, vehicle title, passport, and social security card, she’s probably planning to leave you.

  1. She withdrew her personal savings/checking from the family banking app.
    A key element of marriage is the merging of funds, so if she abruptly separates her money from yours, it’s a hint she’s about to leave.

It’s also conceivable that she’s still contributing to your joint account but at a lower rate. This might indicate that she is putting money into a private savings account in preparation for the next chapter of her life.

  1. She shows you social media videos of families in which two ex-partners are excellent friends.
    It’s also likely that she’s hinting at her wish to leave by posting very particular kind of social media posts about families where the parents have separated but remain close friends. She may also send information about successful co-parenting, indicating that she is anticipating what will happen next.
  2. She begins streaming TV episodes on her own, without asking whether you want to watch them together.
    After the kids go to bed, you and she generally fall on the couch and watch the newest baking competition. Only now is she streaming shows on her own, without asking if you want to watch alongside her.

What used to be a romantic stay-at-home date night of eating ice cream and watching reality TV has now evolved into her viewing episodes on her own. She no longer sees watching TV as a means to bond after a hard day, but rather as a method to relax and unwind alone.

8. She has started hanging with a friend who is divorced.
She spends more of her spare time with her one buddy, who just divorced after 15 years of marriage and relocated to the next town over. If you ask her what they talk about, she glosses over it since the truth is that her buddy is offering her advice on the divorce process.

  1. She avoids spending time alone with you.
    Lisa Gelman and Karen Kotansky, divorce attorneys located in Toronto, Canada, identified a clear red flag that indicates a marriage is ending: “The disappearing spouse.”

“All of a sudden, they’re off doing other things, not wanting to have a date night, not coming to the extracurricular activities of the kids, like baseball [and] hockey, not wanting to spend any dinners with the family,” the lawyer who is representing the couple said.

Gelman went on to say that these avoidant behaviours are signs of “a diversion from their normal routine,” which might be because she has one foot out the door already.

  1. She recently changed passwords for her email and/or phone.
    You used to share things, but suddenly she has changed the passwords for her email and phone, which can only imply one thing: she does not want you to know who she is in communication with.

She may be getting messages from a real estate broker about a fantastic new flat, or she could be getting seductive texts from a new love interest. In any case, she does not want you to view her business.

  1. She has become more economical with her own purchasing and/or taken on extra jobs.

If you’ve seen significant changes in her spending patterns, it might indicate that she’s saving money to move out. Saving for a new house requires time and work. She could possibly be taking extra shifts or working overtime to supplement her income.

12. She is visiting a therapist for the first time.
In another TikTok post, divorce attorney Lisa Gelman discussed some of the indicators that a woman may be considering divorce, such as being secretive, going out late, and visiting a therapist for the first time.

“If you don’t know why she’s seeing a therapist, maybe then the reason is you,” he said.

In general, going to therapy is a sign of positive change: it indicates that a person is caring for their mental health, which is always vital, even in a great relationship.

However, as Gelman points out, if her choice to seek treatment appears to come out of nowhere, or if she refuses to explain her reason for starting, it is possible that she intends to quit and needs more support.

  1. She was sending you videos on how to fix relationship difficulties, but suddenly she is not.
    She used to send you Instagram reels and TikTok postings on how to salvage a marriage, but she no longer sends anything.

It is widely believed that falling out of love leads to hatred, yet the opposite of love is apathy. If she has stopped showing you information about repairing a damaged relationship, it indicates that she has lost hope.

Joanna Schroeder of YourTango gave her thoughts on TikTok, stating, “Men who do not listen to their wives get left behind.”

According to Schroeder, this includes “good men, nice men, and good dads.”

“Your wife will attempt to tell you something. They say, ‘I’m feeling invisible, neglected, and disregarded, and their spouses, boyfriends, and partners aren’t taking it seriously,'” she added. “If she sends you memes, videos, and TikToks about marriage and relationship troubles, and moms feel ignored or overloaded, you should pay attention. Men who do not listen fall behind.”

If your wife decides to leave, it may appear unexpected, but as coach Val Jones noted, “Women don’t leave unhappy marriages; they leave marriages that have left them exhausted, burnt out, overwhelmed, resentful, burdened.”

“They leave because they are done, and they’ve been trying for years and years, sometimes decades, to make it work.”

If you’re concerned that your wife is about to go away, it’s important to sit down and have a genuinely honest chat in which you both open your hearts and express your truths. Repairing a marriage is never simple, and it is never certain, but the only way to move forward with healing is to begin speaking.

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Relationship

Woman confesses that her spouse always defecates in bed as he’s ready to ‘cum’

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"I've been married for eleven months now. My spouse has had this problem since we started dating till now. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have sex and he is ready to cum and it is at its climax, he eases himself into the bed. "We've tried to get him to stop, but he always complains it's too sweet and he can't contain himself. As a result, we decided that he would always relax himself before we started having sex. "But he will continue to do it while cuming. I refused to give him sex while we were dating because it was horrible. I married him because despite it, he is a responsible, nice, and caring spouse."

A Ghanaian lady who is married to a “loving and responsible husband” is looking for help dealing with what she describes as “disgusting” sexual encounters with her spouse.

The married woman with two children has said that her husband always defecates in bed when he is at his height of ecstasy during sex.

Revealing her traumatic situation to Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3, she stated that she is considering quitting her eleven-month marriage because she cannot bear it any longer.

“I’ve been married for eleven months now. My spouse has had this problem since we started dating till now. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have sex and he is ready to cum and it is at its climax, he eases himself into the bed.

“We’ve tried to get him to stop, but he always complains it’s too sweet and he can’t contain himself. As a result, we decided that he would always relax himself before we started having sex.

“But he will continue to do it while cuming. I refused to give him sex while we were dating because it was horrible. I married him because, despite it, he is a responsible, nice, and caring spouse,” she narrated.

According to her, the situation is impacting her mental health because all attempts to settle her issue have failed.

“I’m going through a lot because it makes me puke; mentally, I’m breaking down. I’m not sure whether to quit the marriage because we currently have two children. I tried every possible solution to the problem, but nothing worked,” she said.

She is presently seeking assistance to deal with the circumstance, as the problem is harming her mental health.

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I prefer to masturbate than have sex with my husband – Lady shares ordeal

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She stated that she has always felt sexually unfulfilled after intercourse, therefore she chooses to masturbate to satisfy herself rather than having sex with her boyfriend. "Within two minutes, he had come. As a result, I avoid him and prefer to masturbate to satisfy my sexual cravings since, as soon as we start having sex, he has come and the item will stand," she said Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3.

A Ghanaian woman has expressed her sexual discontent with her spouse.

The lady, whose identity has been kept hidden, told Confessions on TV3 that her spouse never stays in bed for more than two minutes.

She stated that she has always felt sexually unfulfilled after intercourse, therefore she chooses to masturbate to satisfy herself rather than having sex with her boyfriend.

“Within two minutes, he had come. As a result, I avoid him and prefer to masturbate to satisfy my sexual cravings since, as soon as we start having sex, he has come and the item will stand,” she said to Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3.

Meanwhile, Life Coach Ebenezer Quaye, a guest on the show, encouraged lovers to share feedback to each other after participating in physical intimacy with their loved ones.

This, he argued, will inspire spouses to work on their sexual deficiencies.

“If you are having sex and do not receive feedback from your wife, there is a problem.” Wives should also provide feedback to their spouses. “It’s so nice and encouraging,” he commented.

He also gave some strategies for improving sexual shortcomings between lovers.

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