Today is when our baby was due.
Today is when we would’ve met our child and become parents.
It’s hard writing those words, but even harder thinking about what they actually mean. We never knew if our baby was a boy or a girl, though we’re convinced our little one was a tiny princess. We named her, though only we know her name. I try to look at our faces all the time and imagine what she would’ve looked like. There is an emptiness in my heart knowing our family isn’t complete, that there’s someone missing.
I posed a question to people a while ago. I asked if they would consider someone a mother if their child never made it into their arms, and as would you expect, the answers were divided. I’m half in the park that “I am a mother,” and half in the “I’m not” as well. Without having her here in my arms, I feel like I don’t deserve the title of ‘mother,’ but I can’t deny she was here, even if only for a short time.
Her initials are CG, and I wish I could tell you her name, but somehow it doesn’t feel right. I’m tired of her being our secret though, and I want the world to know I should have a daughter here. I’m angry, frustrated, and hurt. I want people to know about her, I want others to miss her, I want others to care.
Today, I should be a mother, holding our little angel, breathing her in and going over all of her little features with the awe only a new mother can have.
Today is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. We all miss her too.
I my opinion you are a mother. Your daughter may not be here with you now but I know in my heart she is looking down on you today and smiling.
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby girl, my heart is with you from one mother to another.
I’m so, so sorry. For the loss of your little angel, for how you feel, for all of it. You most definitely are a mother, and unfortunately, you’re dealing with what no mother should have to. No mother should have to say goodbye to her child, especially when they’ve been robbed of the chance to even say hello. Your daughter is known here. She’s remembered. And she’s missed. <3
The fact that you love and miss and grieve your baby makes you a mother.
Thank you for telling us about your daughter and for sharing her life with us. I am tremendously sorry for your loss.
We know about her and we care. She matters. She is remembered. She is lucky to have you as a mama.
Holding you in my thoughts.
From one mother to another…the ones we lose leave huge holes in our hearts and in this space and time we call life. We’ll never know what goodness she would have brought to this world. Yes, she is missed.
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.
i can’t honestly say where i would fall in me “mother” question, but if intention counts, and love…yes, and i’m so sorry
Growing a wanted child inside of you – for however long – makes you a mother in my eyes. It’s love that makes you a mother. I’m so sorry
Whitney, I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Oh sweetheart, you ARE a mother. And you’ve gone through one of the worst things a mother can, the loss of your precious baby. You certainly DESERVE the title mother, whatever anybody else says. I’m sorry that you will always have a little piece of your family missing, and hope that someday the pain will ease for you.
here’s nothing worse than the feeling you are feeling right now. I’m so sorry you even have to feel this. I have this poem that read over and over when we lost our little girl Mya back in 2006 and I’m sharing it with you ~
What Makes a Mother
I thought of you all, I closed my eyes
and prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
and I know I heard him say,
A Mother has a baby.
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother
when your baby’s not with you?
“Yes you can!”, He replied
with confidence in His voice,
“I give many women babies,
when they leave is not their choice.”
Some I send for a lifetime
and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there’s no need to stay.
I don’t undersand this God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared his throat
and then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say,
I miss my mommy oh so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
on her pillow’s where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheeek
and whisper in her ear,
mommy don’t be sad today
I’m your baby and I’m here.”
So you see
my dear sweet one,
your children are OK.
Your babies are here in my home
and this is where they’ll stay.
they’ll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through.
And on that day that you come home
they’ll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a mother.
It’s the feeling in your heart.
It’s the love you have so much of
right from the start.
Though some on earth may not realize
that you are a Mother until their time is done,
they’ll be up here with me one day
and know you’re the best one.
Written with love
for all Mother’s missing their baby.
-Author Jennifer Wasik