It was a busy week on the red carpet, dear readers, so treat yourself to another dose of judgment.

Previously: I decided to steal Naomi Watts’s Gucci gown for my wedding.

KATE BOSWORTH in Los Angeles
gown by Alexandre Vauthier, purse by Bottega Veneta

GLAM. AS. FUCK. And even more so from the back:

I like to minimize my use of this phrase so that it still has some meaning, but I think it applies here: OMG YAAAAAAAAAAAS.

POPPY DELEVINGNE in New York City
gown and purse by Chanel

This is Cara Delevingne’s big sister Poppy. Unlike Cara, Poppy does not have the world’s most gorgeous eyebrows, but she is a model and fashionista in her own right. Case in point: this poncho-esque, three-tiered, mixed-printed maxidress. By all the known laws of the universe, I shouldn’t like this. But Poppy is working the shit out of it and convincing me that I need a sheer poncho gown in my life, even though I know that’s not true.

EMMY ROSSUM in Los Angeles
gown and purse by Bottega Veneta

Fantastic eyeliner – she really has taken my “fire your makeup artist” advice to heart – and the earrings are to die for. There were a butt-load of stars in Bottega Veneta at a museum gala this week, but no one wore the label better than Emmy.

JANUARY JONES in Los Angeles
dress by Bottega Veneta, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

This dress is fantastic, and so very January. The silhouette, the textures, it’s all working. And the accessories are perfect – though if you’re going for an open-toe shoe, a pedicure is necessary. And the hair is a bit too “basic bitch” for a bitch who is anything but basic.

ELIZABETH BANKS in Los Angeles
dress by Bottega Veneta

Great color, interesting draping. And the shoes are a fucking work of art. I get that the hair is supposed to be windswept, but it looks more tornado-swept to me. But her eyebrow game is particularly on point this week.

KIERNAN SHIPKA in Los Angeles
dress and purse by Bottega Veneta

Fully adorable. This was my red carpet prediction for Chloë Moretz, but I’m glad Kiernan beat her to it. It’s absolutely gorgeous on her.

ISLA FISHER in London
dress by Mary Katrantzou, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo

Fascinating texture, surprising silhouette, and supremely chic pockets. I kind of love that the only pops of color are her hair and the yellow in her purse. It’s just a very modern look, and it’s something I haven’t seen a billion times before.

DIANNA AGRON in Los Angeles
gown and purse by Bottega Veneta

It’s a little bit too long, but I love the watercolor-esque print and the matching blush lipstick. And although I hated her platinum locks the first time I saw them, I’m liking them more and more with each passing red carpet appearance.

ZOE SALDANA in Los Angeles
dress and purse by Bottega Veneta

Obsessed with the colorblocking, her giant smile, and her swollen feet. Girlfriend is a trooper for wearing heels under such conditions, and she’s supernatural for looking this lovely.

ZOE SALDANA in Los Angeles
dress by Altuzarra, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Fucking adorable dress, but I’m not a fan of the shoes. Also, those pregnancy hormones and prenatal vitamins are making her hair IMPOSSIBLY shiny. That is some Disney princess hair right there.

MIA WASIKOWSKA in London
dress by Chanel

This dress is actually very cool, but the problem might be that Mia brings no personality to it whatsoever. Usually an awesome dress can make an uninteresting star look more interesting, but she’s just sort of draining all the interest out of this outfit.

GISELE BÜNDCHEN in New York City
dress by Chanel, shoes by Jimmy Choo

It’s a little too much put together, but I’m very much enjoying the individual pieces of this look. Those shoes would be absolutely killer with a little black dress.

LILY ALDRIDGE in New York City
dress by Chanel

She’s only pulling this off because she’s a supermodel. This looks like the world’s largest bib.

CRYSTAL RENN in New York City
gown and purse by Chanel

She looks like a Game of Thrones villain, but somehow, I don’t actually think that’s a good thing.

HILARY SWANK at the Hamptons Film Festival
dress by Delpozo, shoes by Casadei

Sorry, Hilary, but that cut-out is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

JULIA ROBERTS in Los Angeles
cardigan and dress by Bottega Veneta

Julia Roberts is only 46. Why has she been dressing like a grandma for the last ten years?

REESE WITHERSPOON at the London Film Festival
dress by Giambattista Valli

Cute enough, if not particularly memorable. But maybe unmemorable is a good thing, considering what else Reese wore this week:

REESE WITHERSPOON at the London Film Festival
gown by Stella McCartney

Fully hideous. The hair looks burnt and dated, and the makeup would have a prostitute saying, “yeah, that’s a bit much.” And this dress – Stella McCartney has designed a lot of hideous shit, but this might be her worst dress yet.

VANESSA HUDGENS in San Francisco
gown and purse by Diane von Furstenberg, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

I love Earth, but if saving it means dressing like this, let’s maybe just give up and colonize the moon.

LEIGH LEZARK in New York City
jumpsuit by Chanel

Please, for all that is good in the world, PLEASE tell me that is not a fannypack.

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© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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