Martyn Richard Jones

Brussels, 12th May 2019

It has recently been revealed that political campaigns are taking the unprecedented step of hiring the services of consulting companies that will assist them in reaching, convincing and influencing voters.

This is a scandalous abuse of power, privilege and technology.

Big Data and data science are being used on a massive scale to manipulate political elections, control voter behaviour and to undermine constitutional democracy and the rule of law.  There is no doubt about this; I read it on the internet.

There is no other rational, coherent and cohesive evidence to explain why Donald Trump beat Hillary Clinton to the White House. She was a shoo-in, it was her turn, and nobody with a marmalade cat on their bonce should ever be countenanced as a leader of anywhere, ever. When it comes to explaining why those in the UK who wanted to run away from the EU beat those who wanted to remain, this is the only viable reason. Add to that as well the reason why the UK’s Theresa May and her Tories beat Jeremy Corbyn and his Labour Party in the 2017 general election. On top of that, it also helps to explain what makes Vladimir Putin so consistently popular in the Russian Federation, because it sure isn’t about his popularity but the votes of the people who stupidly voted for him, and against their will, as I vaguely recalling The Guardian so rightly pointing out, as a result of being nobbled, gamed and influenced by highly trained KGB operatives posing as psycho-manipulative-trolls on social media in Shrewsbury.

We can only legitimately conclude that dark right-wing digital forces are at play in politics, and like never before.

I know that there will be naysayers who will righteously deride this and say that anything can be proven with facts. But, I will answer them clearly, concisely and convincingly. It stands to reason that elections and referendums are only won by the foul means of big data abusers, deep learners, artificial-intelligence blaggers and democracy dodgers. This view is the embodiment and paragon of common sense. A true reflection of our times. Pointing the finger at the guilty men is the pinnacle of reason and sense and consideration, and any calls for explanation, facts and evidence are simply the divisionary, despicable and distracting tactics of the desperate – caught as they are, with their pants down and their fingers in the big social-media data till.

Simply stated, our rich social-media data, the vital and life-giving big data of our internet existence, is being accumulated and analysed by professional technology companies, with the mega-evil goal of reinforcing or changing our behaviour, and getting us to commit to voting for one party, one candidate or one option over another.

If this isn’t a diabolical digital reincarnation of the School for Scandal, I don’t know what is.

Fortunately, top professional journalists, working for some of the most respected global organs, have uncovered a massive network of intrigue, guile and mendacity powered by a continuous, insatiable and expansive lust for power.

Me: Isn’t that right, Rab?

Rab: You don’t half write some humungous keech at times.

Me: Thanks, Rab!

Rab: Yes, let me tell you this boy. This has more angles on it than a great big multi-purpose angle thing.

Me: Oh, I see. I think?

Rab: Here, chuck me your bloody laptop. I’ll give your punters a clue.

Some people saw the rise of political chancers such as Nigel Farage, Donald Trump, Theresa May, Marine le Pen, Jacob Rees-Mogg and Boris Johnson as somehow defying the laws of physics by way of an alternative reality that occurred in a separate universe on a previously unknown planet called Sieg Heil or some such bollox.

Liberal idiots, I call them.

But history teaches us that certain toxic individuals and anti-democratic working-class-hating virus-carriers have always been able to rise to the top in politics, either through force, threats or a mixture of innuendo, scapegoating and lies. That’s just the way it is in Maggie Thatcher’s Cruel Britannia, boy.

Don’t forget now, that Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, Carmona and Stalin were leaders in Europe, at the same bloody time. So, we have more form than we like to pretend we have. And how did they get to be leaders? There was no social media around in those days, so that’s one you are going to have to figure out for bloody self, boy.

I ask you this. Why is the press going to town on claims of social-media manipulation, do you think?

Because they can’t abide the thought that people would actually vote this way without being subjected to some form of subliminal neural reprogramming and social-media manipulation.

The media – you know, the presses, the TV, the radio, etc. – in general, is attuned to social media. They believe that it is something that they can tap into directly and without quality issues, for information, trends and news. What they are actually doing is collecting, collating and aggregating information on opinion, speculation and fads, then they are selecting the pieces they like, forming an opinion about it and then publishing it.

They are collecting, collating and publishing shit and selling it as curated news.

The media has become an aggregating and amplifying foghorn for social-media borne bullshit to which they also contribute, in an endless self-affirming feedback loop of Homeric proportions.

If anyone is responsible for the burgeoning amount of vociferous fake news on social media it is the press themselves.

It also doesn’t help that many in the media are so blinded to bullshit they want to believe in, as it fits their narrative and because they simply do not have the knowledge and experience to see through bullshit.

Take Cambridge Analytica for example. The really evil ones behind the apparent massive conversion of punters to batty right-wing causes. Hogwash!

In a nutshell, I think that Cambridge Analytica massively bullshitted about their ability to effectively collect, analyse and extract insight from big data and then as a result design campaigns to effectively influence the punters. They were nerds believing their own nonsense; not a good look at all. Then the media, fully believing their absolutely mendacious bollocks, ran with this dopey angle. Yes, Cambridge Analytica deserved clobbering just for intent, but their impact on convincing voters was close to negligible, maybe even worse than negligible, which is the case of most online campaigns, even typically failing to convince people to buy one fizzy drink rather than another.

No, we got Theresa May, Brexit and Donald Trump for quite different reasons.

I will leave you with this. As Mel Brook’s wrote it for the character Jim in Blazing Saddles:

Jim: [to Bart] You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

That’s it right there. No big data. No big data analytics. No massive neural reprogramming. No advertising wizardry. Just a bunch of mendacious nerds, a rubbish media amplifying their nonsense through social-media, and… morons.

Of course, the media are also getting tangled up in the continuous and high-pressure smear-campaign to ensure that the UK doesn’t get a PM with a more nuanced approach to middle-east politics. Now, in my view, and I am not a supporter of either Mister Corbyn or his party, this is far more dangerous than any suggested manipulation by Putin, Cambridge Analytics, Trump, Assange, etc. But this is just my opinion.

So, goodnight from me and a good night from him.

I was joined today by Rab C. Nesbitt for a rundown on one of the significant events in the last decade, or not. I hope it caused you no pain.

Have a fun Sunday.

Thanks for reading.

Martyn Jones, also at @GoodStratTweet