Lindsay Lohan knows only too well that as soon as she steps out of rehab she's confronted with all sorts of disgusting things like alcohol, drugs and – perhaps most disgustingly of all – Calum Best, which is why Lindsay Lohan won't leave rehab.
According to an interview with Lindsay Lohan's mother, Lindsay has decided to embark upon something the Promises rehab facility calls an 'extended care program' whereby the addict – in this case Lindsay Lohan – takes on group therapy sessions and the full 12-step program until they're so clean of addictions that they won't feel the sudden all-encompassing urge to assume that starring in a heartwarming pan-generational drama with Barbarella and one of the Desperate Housewives will make them more famous for acting than for falling out of parties drunk without any knickers on at every hour of the day.
We have our own feelings about Lindsay Lohan – perhaps Noel Edmonds sums them up best – but we have to admit that Lindsay has a rare flair or timing. Had Lindsay Lohan decided to crash her car while possibly on drugs or sit around a toilet next to some drugs talking about having sex with Jude Law or get so suicidal that she ended up in rehab or let her Dad explain to the world that she's hooked on OxyContin at most times of the year then Lindsay Lohan's weird decline would have been the story of the season.
As it happened, though, the events leading up to Lindsay Lohan's entry to rehab were so neatly bookended by Britney Spears going mental and Paris Hilton going to jail that memories of the way that Lindsay Lohan had a shrieking fit in a hotel have all but faded away for good. And that's the way that Lindsay Lohan seems to like it, because Lindsay Lohan's mother has announced that Lindsay Lohan has signed up for the Promises 'extended care program' as People reports:
"I talk to her every day," Dina Lohan told PEOPLE in New York on Monday. "She's going to do Promises' extended care program." The program, according to Promises' Website, is designed to help people "make the transition from residential alcohol or drug rehab treatment back into their community." It includes a 12-step program and group therapy.
Ah, so Lindsay Lohan is basically doing a care in the community scheme. We shouldn't mock Lindsay's predicament, because taking an extended care package at least shows that Lindsay Lohan knows she has a problem, which is more than can be said for the last time she went to rehab.
And we have every reason to believe that Lindsay Lohan is absolutely making the right choice here and she'll come out of rehab a changed woman. Just one question, though – what exactly will Lindsay Lohan be without wrist-smashing or slashing open her leg on Brian Adams' teacup or having it off with McFly or Bulimia or misjudged pole-dances with Kate Moss? We're guessing: vapour.
Read more:
George says
I know it may not sound nice, but I’m concerned that Lindsay’s father, Michael, has given advice that isn’t being heeded: that Dina Lohan also go to rehab. If she keeps drinking in front of Lindsay and possibly even starts offering Lindsay drinks, then it could be “back to the bottle” — and a stay at Sheriff Baca’s “guesthouse,” as well, perhaps — for Lindsay. I honestly think that recovering addicts are better off not associating closely with users, so anyone who wants a close association with Lindsay shouldn’t be one.
LINDSAY FAN says
WE ARE PROUD OF U LINDZ KEEP GOING WE LOVE YAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! “I LOVE YA” :)(L)