It’s sickening to me how high the divorce rate is these days. And, I can admit, I’m part of the problem. I’m divorced. I get that a few of you just thought “You moron. If you were trying to avoid hypocrisy, you failed miserably.” Yeah, I know. But I also know one of the most unspoken reasons we’ve allowed divorce to become not only accepted, but commonplace. And it’s all my fault.
Well, not me specifically (at least I hope not). It’s guy’s fault. We have failed you overall. Now, I know there are plenty of good men out there and plenty of Christian men who have succeeded beyond our wildest imagination. And no, I’m not suggesting I’m one of them. I long to be, but I question whether or not I actually am.
1 Corinthians 16: 13 says “Be Watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” That’s the English Standard Version, by the way, so if you want another version, it’s going to be similar. I used the ESV because it included the phrase “act like men”. That’s what we’ve lost. That’s what’s missing. It used to be such a critical part of who men were and we lauded them for such valor. But nowadays, it’s almost pertinent to act like women. To be overly sensitive to every situation and let emotions guide our ways.
Guys, PLEASE knock this nonsense off. Ok? Not to be frank (which is odd, since my name is Brian), but if you haven’t gotten familiar with the term “grow a pair”…it’s time to get familiar. The women in your life need you to be a man. They’re longing for you to show the kind of leadership and strength they so badly need. Nowadays, that’s a really weird thing to do…so be weird. Be different. Be a man.
I see it everywhere with young men my age and younger (I’m 29). This idiotic thinking of what it means to be a man. The dress, the attitude, the talk, the words, everything. It’s all backwards. And it’s killing us as a society. Stop thinking you’re a man because you get 9 phone numbers a night. Stop thinking you’re a man for fitting into her pants and wearing her eyeliner. Stop assuming that you’re some big man because you cry at chick flicks and go with her to poetry readings. That’s not manly. That’s being spineless.
Guys, we’re wired differently. We’re not wired to be sensitive. We’re wired to kill. We’re wired to lead by force, and forceful words. Is that primitive? Sure it is, but it’s true. It’s why we like hunting and fishing, fire and explosions. We’re simplistic and animalistic.
Your woman are looking to you to be the leader of her household and right now, you can’t do it. I failed at it once. I didn’t understand what it meant and I failed. Some might call it cold-hearted, whether it dealing with your wife or children, but it’s part of being a leader. We have to remember that it’s ok to be cold at times. It’s ok because we have to remember how to be warm as well.
We’ve become monotone in our actions and words. We’re searching for our feelings while we ignore our instincts. We’re called to teach our children, but how can you teach your children how to be complete if you can’t complete your own range of emotions? It’s like a driving instructor teaching kids while having their license suspended. They can talk in theory all they want, but cannot give proper instruction.
We teach by experience. How many of your dad’s said “go ahead, try it out” only to respond with “I told you it was a bad idea” when things went wrong? Sure, when you’re a kid you think he’s just a jackass (and in some cases, he is) but now that I’m older and have a daughter of my own, I realize it’s just our nature. We’re teaching in a way our kids will understand. This thought process of “protect your kids from everything” is actually doing more damage than we realize.
Women are burdened with child bearing and child rearing (not an easy task). And while men certainly help with the rearing, we’re called more to teach in theory, rather than in practical application. Men, however, are given a charge of leadership that women can not understand. It’s an instinctual desire to provide, to bring back the kill and receive adulation. Do you see the balance? We’re called to lead in honor. 1 Peter 3: 7 says “Husbands, dwell with them with understanding, giving HONOR to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
God calls, in the bible, for women to submit to their husbands just as slaves submit to their master. Guys often take that to mean she should listen to everything he says and that’s not totally true. Women are to be cherished because they are our emotional compass. We need to remember our own Godliness as we’re called to lead. Only then will things start to settle out and will our human relationships between the genders improve.
Or if you’re a pop culture junkie, the Godfather says it in 6 seconds.
Thanks for reading. Feel Blessed. Feel Loved.
Guest writer: Brian Freeman
RedFlagRelationship.wordpress.com
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