On Monday, I went in to Holy Cross hospital for a scheduled, outpatient, surgical procedure. In 2007, I actually had the same surgery. It was easy peezy! Barely any residual pain…nothing that an 800mg Motrin couldn’t remedy. I remember leaving surgery, going home to sleep, and waking up the next morning to drive down to Charlottesville, VA to be by my father’s side as he was taking a turn for the worst with his Cancer.

     Literally, I had NO RECOVERY time with that first surgery. My body simply did not need rest or the things my Doctor told me I needed. Two-weeks later, my father passed away. I was there to hold his hand as he transitioned. A about a week later, I was at a follow-up exam with my Doctor and he was amazed at how quickly I healed and said that surgery was a success. Life was great after that. All the horrible symptoms I had that lead me to surgery in the first place, were POOF…gone!!

     Last year, I had a health crisis, after which the symptoms that drove me to surgery in 2007, had slowly began to return. So at the top of this year, my same Doctor which performed the first surgery said, “If your symptoms don’t improve over the next few months with holistic therapy, I recommend you get the same procedure.” The holistic approach did not work. So, my surgery was scheduled for this past Monday June 2nd. I had no anxiety. I had no worries. I was more calm than anyone could believe. Why? Well, I had this before and knew exactly what I was in for. Real talk. I was ready to get it over with and get back to life as I know it. So my husband prayed with me and off to surgery I went.

     Well, unbeknownst to me…since I was under anesthesia, there was a complication during this surgery and ultimately, the type of operation I was getting, had to change to a completely different type midway through. After surgery was over and I came to, I felt like I had been hit with a sledge hammer. I was in so much pain, I could barely speak. My husband was in recovery with me…rubbing and kissing my head and hands. I was so confused. This is not the way I remembered it.

“WHAT HAPPENED TO ME IN THERE?”

As they began to explain to me what took place, I began to cry. Yes I was thankful that surgery was successful. Yes I was thankful to be alive and well. But I had placed my trust in myself and the Doctors and the procedure and my memory of it. Never once did I even entertain the fact that there could be a change of plan…I already told my trainer I would be back in the gym with him by Thursday!!! What the heck?! lol. My complete trust needed to be in God alone, which also means His ability to change what He wants…when He wants (for His glory, of course).

     This time around, instead of 800mg Motrin, I’m taking Percocet for pain. This time around, instead of getting up and driving out of town the next day, I was stuck in bed…getting up, only with the assistance of my husband. This time, it will be a very intentional effort to heal and get back in the swing of things. This time, EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT; well…everything EXCEPT GOD!!! He remains the same. The same God that got me through my first easy breezy surgery is the same God who got me through this one. He is the same God who is holding my hand through this recovery process…encouraging me through this process to not seek out the WHY, but instead, simply seek Him and He will reveal His reasons for why it had to be this way this time around. If I don’t allow it to draw me closer to the cross, to comfort me, this is all in vain.

Allow me to encourage you today, not to live in how you remember things to be, but instead…live where God has you NOW. Grow there. Don’t stay stuck in how you think things should be because you can lose sight of your next level. Don’t get so caught up in YOUR PLAN that you forget that God’s plan will trump yours every time! Every bad/uncomfortable thing that happens to us is not necessarily a negative. Although it can be painful, it could simply be a season for God to grow you into the next phase of your walk with Him. Perhaps you have a situation coming your way that you need to be equipped for, so He has to stretch you beyond what you feel you can bear. Rest in this…He will NEVER put more on us than we can bear. Trust Him!

I will leave you with 2Corinthians 1:3-7 — Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies & God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction w/ the comfort w/ which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort & salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; & our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort. 

*Wednesdays With INDIGO*