The Redefining Intimacy book will go on sale on August 1, 2024. Order your copy now!
Redefining Intimacy
Welcome to RedefiningIntimacy.org! This site is devoted to the book, Redefining Intimacy – Developing Intimate Relationships with God and Others.
I’m Rob Gion, Jr., author of Redefining Intimacy. After nearly 20 years of marriage and as a father of two, a man who was active in my church, served as an ordained pastor, and had many friends and business associates, I suddenly learned I had an “intimacy disorder”-all my relationships were like houses built on sand. A victim of abuse in childhood, I had hidden my true self for decades and had never let anyone close-not even those closest to me.
Discovering what intimacy is and how to develop an intimate relationship with God and others led to radical changes in my life. Every relationship got better. Life became so much richer. I didn’t need coping strategies to help me get through the grind of life. I had what my heart had really yearned for all along-intimacy.
I also realized early on in my learning process that I was not alone in my understanding of intimacy. The pastor in me decided to give my life to helping others who also were struggling in relationships where intimacy was lacking. As part of that process and because I couldn’t find a good definition of intimacy, I created one. Redefining Intimacy was born. Please see below for my redefinition of intimacy.
Through sharing my story and the things I’ve learned in my quest to abandon my dysfunctional coping mechanisms, I aim to help readers forge true intimacy in their relationships and break down hidden, self-created walls that are holding them back. Even if you do have strong, intimate relationships right now, Redefining Intimacy will help you strengthen those bonds. Plus, you just might learn something that will change your life.
This site can be used to find more information about Redefining Intimacy and about me, its author. Should you wish to purchase a copy of the book, you can do so through this site and get an autographed copy along with a special gift as a personal thank you. Any book purchased from this site comes with a custom Redefining Intimacy bookmark at no additional charge.
To enjoy a sample of Redefining Intimacy and gain added insights into how you can enhance intimacy in your own relationships, I encourage everyone to consider becoming an “Intimacy Fan” (joining my subscriber list.) When you do, you’ll receive free of charge a PDF containing the table of contents, introduction, and chapter one of Redefining Intimacy. It’s our thank-you gift for subscribing and will give you an idea of what to expect should you desire to buy the book. And, once a fan, you’ll get an email in your inbox every other week with helpful tips on how to further develop intimacy in your relationships. Each biweekly Intimacy Tip will be a short, three-to-five-minute read. After joining, you’re free to cancel your subscription at any time.
Thank you for your interest in Redefining Intimacy!
Best,
Rob Gion, Jr.
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Launch of Redefining Intimacy Book
What’s a Good Definition of Intimacy?
As I discuss in Redefining Intimacy, part of my reason for writing the book was because I sensed so much confusion about what intimacy is. If I asked you, “What is intimacy?” How would you respond? Do you immediately think of sex, like many people who use the two words interchangeably?
Because I searched high and low for a good definition of this thing called intimacy and couldn’t find one I really liked, I created my own. Here’s my definition:
Intimacy is the natural outcome of relationships in which certainty exists between both parties that each person is consistently
- working to know their true self at their core and to be this true self in the presence of the other party, hiding nothing and putting themselves in a vulnerable position;
- aware that they are loved and cared for exactly as they are, inclusive of their own faults, wrinkles, and problems;
- living, loving, and interacting within an atmosphere of ongoing and mutual forgiveness and acceptance;
- expressing and openly sharing feelings because the fear of rejection is nonexistent; and
- feeling a regular and consistent closeness that is unique and special—a closeness not shared with anyone else.
I realize my definition is not simple or short. But intimacy is not simple either, nor is it something easy to achieve. It does often take “long association,” as Merriam-Webster puts it when talking about intimacy. It takes work, usually hard work. Intimacy always requires a willingness to be open, which is something we, by nature, frequently don’t want to do because we open ourselves to the possibility of being hurt.
Note that my definition does not require sex. In fact, it doesn’t even mention sex. I believe sex may well be a natural and appropriate by-product of intimacy between a man and woman in a committed relationship, but sex has little to do with intimacy itself.
So, there you have it. Want to learn more about it? What’s preventing so many people from experiencing intimacy, or at a minimum, is holding them back? Want to make each of those bullet points a more significant reality in your relationships? Redefining Intimacy is here to help! For starters, become a subscriber (a.k.a. an “Intimacy Fan”) by clicking here. You’ll get a free PDF of the introduction and first chapter of Redefining Intimacy so you’ll have a better understanding of what I communicated above. Then, if you like what you read, buy the book. It just might change your life!