Numbness that appeared
In a way so weird.
A pause to my flow,
A disconnection
within my process.
A disorientation of
an oriented ME.
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This feeling of unfeelingness,
Like carrying a load
That you don’t feel
but you are aware.
A pain that isn’t hurting.
A feeling that ME is far,
Distant and somewhere
underneath this glass
blanket of numbness.
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While I wonder
if it’s a loss or a gain?
A grief shifts somewhere,
Wriggling through
a smile and tears.
I wonder again if it’s
Calmness or Indifference?
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Silences are needed
and unwanted too.
Noise is craved
and overwhelming too.
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Until I find comfort
in this discomfort.
Rest in this unrest,
Calm in my chaos,
Knowing in
this unknowingness,
An Oldness of this newness.
Familiarity in this strange-ness
I wait to be home again.
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