So I’ve never been good at talking about my feelings. I guess I don’t like feeling vulnerable. So I figured writing about it would be easier.. So here it is.
I lost my dad 6 years ago today. I’ve gone over that day a MILLION times in my head, replayed every detail,and have cried a countless number of tears. But I refuse to cry today. The reason is, I KNOW he is in a better place. A wonderful place that I had heard him talk about for almost 18 years.
So why should I be sad today? Of course I miss him. But what I’m most sad about is that my son doesn’t ever get to meet him on this earth, and that he missed seeing my little sister grow up. But most of all, what hurts the most is seeing my mom without him. That she lost her husband of 21 years in an instant, without any notice. That is what bothers me the most. She doesn’t know this, because again, I suck at talking about my feelings.
I don’t even have sadness for myself anymore. And I don’t usually talk about him to people because I don’t want pity.
It bothers me that I didnt realize how close I was to him until after he was gone. I was too busy being a teenager.
I can’t tell you how many times he told us to be thankful we still had a dad, because he lost his own when he was only 8.
I guess I just want to say to NEVER take anyone for granted, and to never assume that you won’t lose someone close to you. Because it could happen in a second.
I
I pick the best times to drop the worst lines. 