Tuesday 15th July 2014 ko 19.30

Pre-season Friendly

UNITED SERVICES PORTSMOUTH 2 (Coker 9 Dark 26)

FAREHAM TOWN 5 (Neal 22 Houks 53og Robinson 55 A T Rialist 83 90)

Att 13 at 3G pitch HMS Temeraire, Portsmouth

Entry FREE

Programme- You are joking aren’t you?

I visited USP’s Victory Stadium around 4 years ago, and it too is in HMS Temeraire, near Portmouth Docks. There’s no great security here, just a contracted-out guard, who seemed to be about as interested in me as I was in him! When I found out about this fixture, two things immediately struck me, firstly that I now had the camera to do the backdrop justice, and secondly that I was banned!

I should explain; one of mates is Paul “Splodge” Proctor the Fareham Town secretary so when there was a Wessex League ground I hadn’t visited, I’d wait for Fareham to visit there. The problem is, as my regular reader will know, I jinx any side I have regular contact with! At first it didn’t matter, a loss in a minor cup at Lymington Town could be written off but when Fareham managed to lose to a Romsey Town side who were rock bottom of the table having only 19 points and shipped a horrifying 117 goals in 34 games my fate was sealed. Since then Splodge has banned me, but graciously agreed to relax the ban just for this game since,

“It’s only a friendly…”

What I hadn’t reckoned on was the sunset. Yes, the Spinnaker Tower is a wonderful edifice, and the masts of HMS Warrior are wonderful to point a camera at, but during the second half I half watched the game, and half watched the colours in the background change. There’s quite a few pictures in the gallery that are of roughly the same thing but the colours blew me away.

Yes, there was a game, and for some time I thought my ban was about to be reinstated! Two pieces of poor defending saw USP take a deserved lead, until the mass substitutions turned the tide for the Creeksiders. USP keeper Pete Houks contrived to throw the ball into his own net dealing with a Lee Tigwell corner but Liam Robinson’s fine performance was capped with a goal, and an intriguing cameo from a triallist saw him net twice and Splodge wonder whether Fareham will be able to secure his signature.

I hope they can, Fareham are a friendly bunch swimming in a pool containing the likes of Portsmouth, Eastleigh, Southampton and Gosport (or Grotspot if you’re Splodge), and if he does sign maybe they can escape my malevolent influence next time I watch them!

To finish I found another Edward VIII postbox! This one is outside the Golden Lion pub, on the Alcester Road, in Winchester.