On Monday, the university revealed the details of a new fundraising effort, The Wesleyan Campaign Part Two: Back in Action. This component of the project aims to acquire donations from unexpected donors and institutions.

“We are very excited to commence the next wave of university fundraising,” said Director of Communications Justin Harmon. “The goal for the next few months is to tap into the places that have as of yet been left untouched. We would like to raise another $250 million by the end of the 2006 school year.”

To help achieve such an ambitious goal, the university is targeting several on-campus locations to draw in contributions.

“They’ve been having me check all of the soda and snack machines for leftover change,” said janitor James Hughes. “I have to report all of the money I find and turn it in at the end of my shift or else I’ll lose my health insurance, they said. I don’t really find that much, but they said that any little bit will help the school.”

All couches and other furniture with cushions in student housing are also subject to search.

“I live in LoRise, and I was sitting in my living room two days ago, and all of a sudden Justin Harmon comes in here, and said that because my couch belongs to the university, he has the right to seize any money he finds lodged into it,” said Katie Weiss ’07. “All he found were two Cool Ranch Doritos and the end of a joint.”

Freshmen will also be affected by the university’s renewed campaigning. Starting on April 12, all first year students will be charged for the use of toilet paper and paper toweling in the residence hall bathrooms. Toilet paper will cost $30 a roll for 1000 single-ply sheets and 750 sheet 2-ply rolls will be $38. Paper toweling will be $15 per roll.

“I think that these new charges are ridiculous,” said Josh Scannell ’08. “I cannot afford to buy toilet paper from the university. I guess I’ll have to start eating at MoCon less.”

To discourage students from buying paper products from WeShop, there will now be an entry-fee of 6 points to just browse the campus store.

“Inflation…what can I say?” Harmon said.

Physical Plant will be using metal detectors to collect money and other valuables left on Foss Hill and Andrus Field. Any found items will be sold to a local pawn shop and the resulting cash will be donated to the campaign.

The University also wants to include the Middletown community in its efforts.

“On Friday and Saturday nights, as long as the weather is nice, we will be sending different members of the dean’s office down to Main Street to solicit donations from passersby,” Harmon said. “We feel the townies will contribute to such a worthy cause.”

University faculty participants will be encouraged to dress up for their assigned evenings. Females will be asked to wear fishnet stockings, feather boas, and lingerie, while males will wear fur coats, oversized hats and some bling.

“I saw Bennet standing on the corner of Main and Court last Saturday night wearing a purple jumpsuit and a huge dollar-sign medallion,” said Thaddeus Ruzicka ’08. “He was saying something about 25 cents per hour. I didn’t know it was university related.”

This part of the campaign is expected to bring in the bulk of the money.

“Our campaign goals have been compelling to donors because they reflect Wesleyan’s most important strategic priorities,” Bennet said. “The campaign expresses and supports our plan for Wesleyan. It will succeed thanks to the effective and generous volunteer efforts of the Board of Trustees, Wesleyan’s alumni and parent leaders, students, and community members. We know that Part Two: Back in Action will raise an equal, if not greater, amount of funds for the university.”

All those who contribute to the campaign will receive a thank you e-mail including many staged scenes of diversity on campus.