You do it, they do it— hell, we’ve all done it. Yet, most of us try to pretend otherwise. It’s not cheap, nor is it necessarily healthy. What, you may ask, are we talking about? We hate to say it, but it’s time to own up Wesleyan— we shop at Urban Outfitters.

Don’t pretend  you don’t know what we’re talking about. This campus is one pair of BDG jeans away from being a full-fledged ad campaign. But why do we do it? Why do we spend so much money on overpriced, crappily-made goods? Take a look at the boots above.

Purchased approximately one month ago for a solid $184, these “Bed Stu Fort Boots,” as the Urban Outfitters website calls them, have disintegrated into something out of The Grapes of Wrath. The website advertises their “hard-living toughness.” With such fine wooden heels and totally rad neon-orange calfskin lining, who would dare doubt that?

We’d say enough is enough, but then what? Yeah, it’s poor quality, and yeah, it’s overpriced, but it’s just so convenient! Why spend so much time looking for hidden gems among the racks of vintage clothing stores or specialty shops when Urban does it for you. All your sartorial needs in one place! It’s like Wal-Mart!

We call this the “Starbucks factor.” You think, “Hmm, I could really use a good cup of coffee right now,” but it would take so much effort to search for a decent cafe when there is a Starbucks conveniently located on every block. And so you settle for less, because it’s just easy.

So, enjoy your papery jeans and corner-cut leather boots. They may be gone tomorrow but at least you’ll look good today. Right?

About Andrew Dermont

Andrew Dermont organized the overhaul of the Argus website. He is now the Blargus Editor and oversees the publication of all online-specific content.
  • Jon Booth

    having never bought anything at urban outfitters im just gonna say this is fucking ridiculous.

  • Yep
  • Cool Person

    Wow, Jon Booth, you really are the coolest. Before, I suspected that you were unbelievably cool, but now that I know that you have NEVER bought ANYTHING at Urban, I know that you are truly unique and countercultural and ingenious and you’re gonna start a revolution.

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