Education Supplement, Politoons, July 2013

Education Secretariat Mikhail Goves-a-chav leaked a new national curriculum to the press yesterday. Tightening his strangehold on the state sector, he has taken a lead in ensuring free schools look even groovier than ever to greying baby boomer Grandad’s who made ‘loads-a-money’ in the 80’s buying discounted shares from every national privatization going.

“Free schools and Academies should not be hindered by being obliged to adhere to a national curriculum” said the Govian Secretariat, “that is the role of state schools!” he then went even further to explain his USP* (*unique selling point): “I want children themselves to have a role in convincing their parents that privatizing schools is a really good idea! That is why we must create a culture of uncertainty in which strange, tabloid headline things are allowed to happen in our education system so that we can appear more outraged than ever!” He then went on to deny rumours that he was just trying to keep up to speed with Jeremic Unt, Minister for Things Not Going Well, over at the NHS.