YSaC, Vol. 1667: Oregon has been oppressed for TOO LONG!

2014 February 19

Free Oregon


I have a free Oregon come pick it up at [address]

You see where this is going, don’t you?

Yep.

Actually, I picked up a free Montana last week, so I don’t have room for this anyway.

Thanks for the post, Michele!

36 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 February 19
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    I’d really like to pick this up, but the trail is just too difficult and fraught with danger. Really, when it’s all said and done I don’t want to lose my sister to scarlet fever and eat my uncle. No free Oregon is worth cannibalism.

    Adores: 10
    • 2014 February 19

      You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He introduces himself as Terry. You laugh at him and say that Terry is a girl’s name. Enraged, he pulls out his rifle and shoots you.

      You have died of dissin’ Terry.

      Adores: 20
      • 2014 February 19
        MissMommyNiceNice permalink

        TC, hit the corner for trying to be punny and grab a corn dodger and a cup of burnt campfire coffee.

        Adores: 2
    • 2014 February 19
      Brer Fox permalink

      Well, if your organ is leaving a trail, there is probably something wrong.

      Adores: 7
  2. 2014 February 19
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    I hear the Beastie Boys are getting back together to host a benefit concert for Oregon Freedom.

    Adores: 2
  3. 2014 February 19
    meeshybee permalink

    Irrational Declaration of Freedom!

    Because, ‘Merica.

    Adores: 3
  4. 2014 February 19
    Ralph permalink

    Oregon is a Noble Gas; it rarely combines with anything, so it’s almost always free. It’s also good on pizza.

    I don’t need any Oregon, but I sent something similar into YSAC yesterday.

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 February 20
      Windrose permalink

      I don’t have a slow clear number, but I have a new clear number. Will that do? I really need an ice oger.

      Adores: 0
  5. 2014 February 19

    I had no idea Oregon was so hounded it had gone into seclusion, hiding in a home on W. Alden.

    I tried to warn it, years ago, not to appear on “States Gone Wild”, but did it listen to me?

    Of course not, and now here we are.

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 February 19
      nojazzhere permalink

      Of course you must realize that this Oregon has become accustomed to the fresh air and freedom of the great outdoors….it will never be happy being cooped-up in a living room again. FLY FREE, Little Lowrey!!!!…..

      Adores: 7
  6. 2014 February 19

    If you love a state, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it crosses the continent and holes up in Randolph to get away from you, it never was.

    Adores: 5
  7. 2014 February 19
    Yancy permalink

    Free Oregon!

    For far too long, the good people of Oregon and the visitors to the great state have been subject to the whims of the gas station employees. Illegal to pump one’s own gas, drivers have had to wait inside the warmth and comfort of their cars while gas pumpers deal with filling the tank while inhaling gas fumes so common to that work environment and facing the varying weather types that occur in the region.

    For far too long, Oregonians and visitors have missed out on the opportunity to socialize while standing around their cars in the beautiful warm weather of summer, the blustery cold of winter, the wintry mix of partially melted snow, road salt, and gas splash-back from previous customers’ absent-minded over-filling.

    For far too long, drivers in the state have sacrificed a small portion of self-reliance because of a law prohibiting them from pumping their own fuel.

    No more! It’s time to free drivers from the soft cushions and climate control of their vehicle interiors! It’s time to FREE OREGON!

    This political campaign brought to you by Smart People Advocating Really Knowing Yourself. Affiliated with Initiating Discussing Important Opportunities Tirelessly, these organizations take issue with issues that impact you the consumer.

    *SPARKY and IDIOT are not affiliated with any political party.

    Adores: 8
  8. 2014 February 19
    Yancy permalink

    pick it up at 9 [street name]

    So wait – is the time for pick-up 9:00, or is the street address 9 [street name]? More info please, sparky.

    Adores: 2
  9. 2014 February 19
    camille permalink

    Sorry, but I’m holding out for my own private Idaho.

    Adores: 13
    • 2014 February 19
      Windrose permalink

      camille, I hope it’s not too squishy in my brain this morning. 8)

      Adores: 2
  10. 2014 February 19
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Just to start with – this was posted nowhere near Oregon.

    Adores: 2
  11. 2014 February 19
    One Moving Violation permalink

    I’m not a xylophobe, but at least it’s not a foreign instrument like a Cuba or a Venezuela.

    (damned wind instruments coming here and taking all our jams!)

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 February 19

      DEY TERK OUR JERMS?!

      Adores: 3
      • 2014 February 19
        One Moving Violation permalink

        Do you know how many guitars are unemployed and just sitting around in corners because there are no jam sessions available? Those Tubans have hit our jamonwithme with such a low blow, and those Vuvuzellans with their low skill one note capabilities just flock to our stadiums using up all of our team spirit and not leaving any musical resources for our domestic instruments.

        Adores: 4
  12. 2014 February 19
    Windrose permalink

    I see a lot of Oregonoids driving around here in So Cal. So I think they already claimed their freedom.

    I think I’ll show Free Willy in the Snark Lounge today.

    Adores: 2
    • 2014 February 19
      zero.nada.none. permalink

      Windy….the last time I tried to free and show Willy in the lounge everyone went “EWWWW!” and told me to stop…..

      Adores: 6
      • 2014 February 23
        Katimomkat permalink

        Z.N.N., I’m surprised they just said “eww” and didn’t call the cops on you for freeing Willie in public.

        Adores: 0
    • 2014 February 19

      Oddly, I used to see a lot more Utah folks in Nor Cal.

      Not entirely sure why, but whatevs.

      Adores: 1
  13. 2014 February 19
    Brer Fox permalink

    Randolph the bow-legged cowboy had a very shiny gun.
    And if you ever saw it, you would drop your pants and run accidently expose your Oregon and then someone might come along and plug it in and then fiddle with the keys and push your buttons and generally just play with it and since it’s outside a policeman might come by and tell you and your friend to pick it up and take it inside because playing with your Oregon outside in public might disturb the neighbors and make them jealous because your La Grande, Oregon is bigger than their Brothers, Oregon and then you have to unplug it from who knows where in order to carry it inside but the person who plugged it in in the first place might be a stranger and you don’t want a stranger in your house even if that person is real good at playing with your Oregon because inside your house you have a woodwind and that stranger might want to blow on it and put their mouth on it and you don’t want that even if the strange person offers to let you put your mouth on their Sisters, Oregon or their very own Happy Valley, Oregon and they might even want to show you how to Bend, Oregon and if that person has germs then they might make it Burns, Or. unless you have a Condon, Or you can take that to the Banks!

    Adores: 6
    • 2014 February 19

      That was AMAZING.

      Adores: 1
    • 2014 February 19
      Meg permalink

      A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
      Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
      How much can you lose? How much can you win?

      Adores: 3
      • 2014 February 20
        nojazzhere permalink

        Meg…I don’t know what you’re referring to, but I doesn’t cares…I just adores…

        Adores: 3
        • 2014 February 20
          Meg permalink

          From T. Geisel’s (Dr. Seuss) Oh the Places You’ll Go!

          Adores: 1
  14. 2014 February 19
    Brer Fox permalink

    Actually, I picked up a free Montana last week, so I don’t have room for this anyway.

    Get clothes from TJ Maxx
    Get office supplies from Office Maxx
    Get states from Montana Maxx

    Shirley the Loon didn’t see that coming.

    Adores: 5
    • 2014 February 19
      LOON permalink

      Stop calling me Surely!!!!

      Adores: 6
  15. 2014 February 19

    Well, I’ve already got two free Dakotas, and a Texas that I payed half-price for.

    What the hell do I need with that Oregon?

    Adores: 2
  16. 2014 February 19
    Demon Duck of Doom permalink

    Before you free it, put a bird on it.

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 February 19
      One Moving Violation permalink

      *clicks bic*
      *writes note to self with pen to go to store and by lighter so can flick bic*

      Adores: 5
  17. 2014 February 19
    SilvaNoir permalink

    No thanks, I already have an organ… excuse me Oregon… that I don’t know what to do with. I actually do. My father gave it to me, someone gave it to him in the 1970s, and it supposedly originated from a church that was closing. Our has less buttons than this one and only one keyboard.

    And since we’re talking about Oregon and musical instruments: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnVjkE87FDY

    Adores: 3
  18. 2014 February 20
    Windrose permalink

    This just in, Scotland may become a free and independent nation again! That makes me feel happy under my kilt.

    Adores: 3
  19. 2014 February 20
    HamCan permalink

    Oh if only it were that easy…

    Free Washington DC
    ——————————————————————————–

    I have a free bunch of Tools come pick them up at [address]

    Adores: 6

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.