Auntie Fashion

Tyra

According to “Page Six,” Tyra Banks has struck a deal with ABC to produce a new, scripted television show based upon her life.

“Fivehead” will be “a comedy based on the beauty’s teen years as she made her way through high school in LA to the biggest catwalks in fashion.  The title is a play on Banks’ notable forehead.”

Now as everyone already knows, when Tyra was seventeen and modeling in Paris, there was this girl named “I don’t know — Becky,” who shared an apartment with the Harvard Business School Owner/President Management Program graduate.  One day, Tyra woke up from her beauty sleep and Becky wasn’t there anymore.

For years and years, fans of the former Victoria’s Secret Angel and two-time “Sports Illustrated” cover girl have wondered whatever happened to Becky.  Was she homesick?  Did she just pack up and leave?  Did she check herself into rehab, or was it something more sinister like a kidnapping or an alien abduction?  What does the secretive supermodel know about Becky’s disappearance and what is she not telling us?

Of course, there’s no guarantee that the Emmy-winning star of “Tyra” and “America’s Next Top Model” will answer those questions on her new television show; the author of “Modelland” has always had a rather distant relationship with the press, preferring to let her accomplishments speak for themselves.  But for those of us who have never been able to shake the feeling that something horrible happened to Becky, this news is a figurative bright light on the horizon.

One thing that is guaranteed is that the program will focus on such sensitive topics with both discretion and modesty — qualities that have defined the “Shake Ya Body” singer throughout her long and illustrious career.  Far be it for this typically-objective critic to pass judgement on a TV show before its premiere, but I can’t imagine “Fivehead” being anything but the greatest achievement in the history of the medium.  Finding out the truth about Becky can only make it greater — perhaps the greatest cultural achievement of our time.

Please, Tyra, don’t disappoint me!  Don’t disappoint us!