Mark Twain Quotations And Sayings

by allinspiration.com

Here is a collection of Mark Twain quotations and sayings. Read what this American author and humorist had to say about various issues.

“Don’t wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality”
– Mark Twain

“The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.”
– Mark Twain

“A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.”
– Mark Twain

“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.”
– Mark Twain

“Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.”
– Mark Twain

“Be good and you will be lonesome.”
– Mark Twain

“A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.”
– Mark Twain

“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I cant find anybody who can tell me what they want.”
– Mark Twain

“We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.”
– Mark Twain

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
– Mark Twain

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”
– Mark Twain

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
– Mark Twain

“Familiarity breeds contempt and children.”
– Mark Twain

“When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.”
– Mark Twain

“Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.”
– Mark Twain

“I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English – it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don’t let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean utterly, but kill most of them – then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.”
– Mark Twain

“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”
– Mark Twain

“Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”
– Mark Twain

“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.”
– Mark Twain

“It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.”
– Mark Twain

“Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.”
– Mark Twain

“Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.”
– Mark Twain

“Its easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.”
– Mark Twain

“When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.”
– Mark Twain

“Write what you know.”
– Mark Twain

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.”
– Mark Twain

“Just the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.”
– Mark Twain

“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little.”
– Mark Twain

“I know the look of an apple that is roasting and sizzling on the hearth on a winters evening, and I know the comfort that comes of eating it hot, along with some sugar and a drench of cream… I know how the nuts taken in conjunction with winter apples, cider, and doughnuts, make old peoples tales and old jokes sound fresh and crisp and enchanting.”
– Mark Twain

“Its better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt”
– Mark Twain

“I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.”
– Mark Twain

“A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn’t.”
– Mark Twain

“Distance lends enchantment to the view.”
– Mark Twain

“That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.”
– Mark Twain

“There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.”
– Mark Twain

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Follow this site