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I recently listened to an interview of Maren Kate of escaping the 9 to 5. The interview was about how Maren built her internet business and her advice to people seeking to go entrepreneur.
One of the things I admire about Maren Kate is the way she leaps into the unknown and then OWNS it. She says she no longer knows where the boundaries of her comfort zone are because she has stepped outside of them so many times. Maren acts AS IF she does not fear. I love reading Maren’s blog because it makes me question conventional wisdom and safe decisions. It makes me wonder ‘What if?’
One of the hardest things to do in life is to make important decisions based on our VALUES rather than based on FEAR.
VALUES-based decisions:
- promote personal growth
- encourage risk-taking
- feel good in the LONG term
- recognize that the pie is as big as we make it
- consider the big picture
FEAR-based decisions:
- protect what’s mine
- require a Plan B. There’s always a Plan B
- feel good in the short term
- regard the pie as limited in size
- consider the immediate and microscopic picture
It’s hard to make values-based decisions. It’s a big world out there, and most of it is NOT under my control. Most of the world does NOT put my interests first – so the only one who’s going to make sure I come out ahead is me. When I am pressed for time, it’s easy to choose the ‘safe’ route. When I do have time, it’s easy to use research for the ‘best’ option as an excuse to defer taking action – sometimes indefinitely. When I don’t know what the outcome will be, I’m tempted to stick with what I know – even if what I know is stale, boring, and repetitive.
WHAT IF I made all those decisions – large or small – as if fear didn’t exist?
WHAT IF I assumed the pie was big enough for everyone – would I share – my ideas? my stuff? my time?
WHAT IF I assumed I could find a way or make one – regardless of whether I chose the familiar career path or the completely new one?
WHAT IF I assumed that any damage my kids could do – to themselves, to others, to property – would be temporary and reparable – how would that change how I parented and what I let them do?
How about you? Have you made decisions because of fear – or in spite of fear? How did it turn out? Please share in the comments.
thanks, Ami
Joy
April 8, 2010
Great post, Ami! You are speaking my language. I’m wrestling with some fear these days about what directions to take in my career. I know that fear-based decisions are just not the way to go if we want to live our best possible lives, but they are SO TEMPTING. And it’s how the vast majority of people make their decisions, so it often feels isolating to make love-based (or values-based) choices.
I just reserved a book from the library called “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” – looking forward to reading it! 🙂
Ami
April 8, 2010
@Joy: I’ve heard of that book, would love to hear your take on it.
I think we’re wrestling with similar types of decisions. While I know that making decisions based on fear/comfort won’t provide the optimal outcome – it’s so easy to do!
Maren Kate
April 8, 2010
Awesome Ami 🙂 thank you and this was super inspiring
Ami
April 8, 2010
@Maren Kate: thanks for stopping by! Have to admit, I felt like I was riffing on some of your recent posts. 🙂
Matthew
April 9, 2010
If people removed their limiting belief, then there would be no limitations to achieving their goals. Great post.
Ami
April 9, 2010
@Matthew: great point! I’m just starting to learn about limiting beliefs (I wonder what happens when your limiting belief is about limiting beliefs? Is it like matter and anti-matter connecting? 😉 sorry, feeling a little silly here) thanks for stopping by.
Adrian Swinscoe
April 11, 2010
Hi Ami,
Great post. I had some fears about starting up my blog a few months ago and then remembered the FEAR acronym (False Expectations Appearing Real) and realised that getting started, no readers, getting writers block, not being good enough….were all in my head and, once I got started they all faded away.
Adrian
Ami
April 11, 2010
@Adrian: i love that acronym, I’ll have to file that away. Thanks for commenting. ami