So it’s sort of an emergency, I’m completely out of money. I managed with the commissions I did on Wed to pay rent – thankgod…. but now I have to pay a giant loanshark loan payment (1k) and my gas and electric before they shut me off (about 800$). Mind you I only owe so much to the loans because I used it to pay my gas and electric from this past winter….

I’m the praying type, but I’m really fucking praying and hoping (its all I have left) that we’ll get bf’s disability trial/money soon…. I’ve been supporting us for 6 years now and I’m out of energy, out of ideas, and just desperate for some shred of hope to cling to. I’m glad my dad isn’t alive to see me so broken… If we’d had a home we’d have lost it by now, if bf was without me, he’d be homeless…

I’m trying to dig us out of this hole… but until there’s more income coming in, I just don’t know what to do.

I’m streaming here: http://www.picarto.tv/smokingpen