It’s been a really interesting and chaotic week at the same time. I haven’t really thought much about blogging. Why? Mostly because real life, in part because of Second Life. It has been a rather interesting, if not emotional and hard week. Lots of new things to learn, lots of new ways to process and dealing with the eventual part of screwing up.
Well perhaps I should not call it screwing up. I make mistake. I am after all human, and learning new patterns, new ways of doing things, means that occasionally you do stumble, some like me, perhaps more then others. But I am slowly getting there and I think I really just need to focus on what I am doing rather then letting my brain run away with emotions and feelings. Easier said then done, but at least learning and recognising where my head is at times is a valuable lessons.
Anyway, while in the future I may write more about that this is not what I want to talk about tonight. Mostly there are a few topics I want to touch on. Those that have real relevance to me at the moment. Sounds mysterious doesn’t it? Maybe it does a little bit, but perhaps all will be revealed in time. While each of the topics involved may be fleshed out in a later blog, more in depth, this will be a start to explore my thoughts about this:
The first topic I want to touch upon, is speech restrictions: I have written a fair amount on this already in the past (Our behaviour speaks, To talk the way she walks, Trained to Talk, Pet Play, and Dehumanisation as a path to submission? – Part II, part III). So it probably doesn’t come very much as a surprise that I like this kind of thing. It’s for me a valuable tool in guiding me into a submissive mindset. I know not everyone agrees with the third person speech, but for me, it is one of the thing that I will come back to, again and again.
I am not sure why it is exactly that this triggers, the desire, the need to be submissive above anything else. Why it even comes so easy for me to switch back and forth or rather fall-back into talking in the third person. It is definitely for me a mental aspect of my submission. Perhaps in part I could argue it is because one of the first books I read that were explicit in this was copies of Slave girl of Gor, and Gor itself. But I do nt think that there are that many examples of slaves speaking in the third person in those books, at least not in the first view parts.
It is quite possible that I have elaborated on the fact that a lot of the ‘slave speak’ as such is something that is entirely prevalent in many online communities, as something where it is used to distinguish in submissive behaviour, to compensate for the amount of non-verbal and bodily communications clues that a submissive or a slave may display.
So, does it mean because it is “just an online thing” that it lacks any merit what so ever with regards to it being a valuable training tool? A lot of people would like to believe so, or they certainly act like this. Personally speaking I think that is a lot of nonsense.
Why? If we take the attitude that just because it is online, it is therefore nonsense, then we need to ditch a whole lot of knowledge and convenience that we find online, as that should be judged by the same standards. On-line materials and methods can have a lot of merit and work for people.
So I have recently started delving into speech restrictions and speech training, as a way to accentuate my position, what I am, and to make me realise that I do not have the choice anymore in what way I choose to address myself. It’s a strong reminder of what I choose to submit to and how this is affecting me and how it is making me feel more submissive at the same time (Sir, please stop grinning).
However unlike previous times where I have been able to use the whole range of third person pronouns, this time my vocabulary has been very much further restricted to a single group of third person pronouns. An to be honest, I can feel the effect of it on me, even after a week.
Here’s the strange thing, I am mostly doing okay with that. It is taking some adapting and there have been a fair amount of missteps but by and large it is not as difficult as I fear it to be. This is of course just pure difficulty, not accounting for the mental affect it has on yours truly.
The really more difficult part for me, is the prohibited use of the second person pronoun. It throws my entire array of how to speak, how to address someone in disarray. It has cost me far more then I am willing to disclose here to adapt to that. I am not sure I have yet even mastered it, but I think I am improving.
Of course the above is only one of the most common known versions of speech restrictions, third person speak or slave speak. If you look at the list of previous written blogs (I actually have left some out of there, as they may have less then limited relevance to the subject matter
One of the punishment for not speaking properly, was that I had to speak in very simple sentences. This as way of using language against me in a way I had previous not contemplated. It was hard, seriously a lot harder then I thought it would be. Dang those cunning creative linguists!
While it is not that difficult to speak in the most basic of sentences, I found it was lacking to carry over the meaning of my words. As someone who loves to write, who loves to use language and words (After being asked to write a hundred words essay, I produced a near nine-hundred words in depth essay instead. Because words, and because I am, to that extent, a show-off. I admit it)
To express yourself in the most basic of sentences, means making your conversation a lot more bland. Almost to the level of almost a pre-schooler. The struggle of that is that one can easily live through a day of that, and only answer the most basic of questions. The pincher in this all was having to answer questions and trying to explain more complex questions and thoughts in simple sentences. It is then you really realise how much more limited you are made, how much more control you have lost about one of the things we consider the most basic. Things we take almost for granted.
It was certainly an interesting and enlightening day, though I was very happy that it was past. Sure as it was mentioned I, we, may revisit that at some point. Either as part of punishment or because it is decided for me. Time will tell. And time will tell how this will affect me in the longer period. I think I have some ideas on that but time will tell whether or not I am right.
This all has made me think a lot more about the use of language, of how language can restricted, but also be used to redirected in the way someone wants to, and to what affect it can be used. After all it was Mahatma Gandhi who said “Your beliefs become your thoughts,Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”
By defining my words, and influencing my thoughts to push me further into submission, it will also start to reflect my actions and the way I act. That is heady stuff. I am not sure if the thought mantra as set out by Gandhi is as linear as it is made to be believed. I am pretty sure that through and words, if repeated enough can become your beliefs. Then again I may entirely perverting the meaning of his words, as I am sure that Gandhi was not talking about BDSM or speech restrictions.
And with that I am going to wrap this blog up and get it posted. I am thankful to Sir for suggestion this blog topic. As it is something we have been playing with a lot and talkign about a lot, it is obviously very much on the forefront of my mind, and probably His as well. Yes there is a lot more that could be written, especially how to apply certain speech patterns to change the words someone is saying to a better appearance but that is something I have to think about this a lot more in depth before I can write about it.
On that note, have a great week, and see you next week
Stay safe, have fun and be good
lexi
My thoughts this week are very much limited to the a few topics as this is what I have been dealing with. Much other thoughts weren’t really affordable in trying to learn new things and the onset of a very few busy RL weeks.
- Speech control; This topic was obviously given to me and has been on the forefront of my mind a lot this week. It is obviously clear how much this does shape me, my thoughts and my feelings.
- Control; Taking and giving of control. How to some people it is something that is so apparent. There is clearly people who know how to trigger this in me, where some could probably spend a life time searching fo this.
- Dealing with making mistakes; Definitely one for the books this week. I have made my fair share of mistakes in learning to come to grip with certain speech restrictions this week. I am not saying I am perfect, because this has shown me that I am not and that I have much to learn and need to be careful in my approach
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