Right, it has been a very long and tiring week. More then I thought it would be. Of course the punishment from last week did not help in that regard, but that was not the main reason. Sure, it was on my mind. The distance, the realisation etc, it all plays part.
I think that my blog post was generally well received. With some very kind words by some and some even much more needed words and actions put a lot of the pain that I felt behind me. I really really hate separation. It’s such cruel and painful thing to do. Does it work? Yes, I think it does. But it doesn’t mean that I have to like it!
Work has been absolutely crazily busy. Add to that socialising and going out on Friday (which I drank a fair more few beers then usual), left me completely exhausted. This may sound silly and weird after my heartfelt blog last week, but in a way I am glad I did not see Him over that time. I would have without a shadow of a doubt messed up. Unfocused, tired, makes for an easy slip up without thinking and we can’t have that.
So far I have been trying to keep everything up, though Thursday and Friday, my email schedule was a mess. I have tried my best to be more regular over the weekend, setting my alarm. Being at home and having my mantra reminder go off is such a great help (the less said about being reminded by the way of a Swiss cow bell, the better).
Of course, He was right (mumbles), the fact that I have these rules and sticking to them, make his absence a little bit more bearable. It gives me rhythm, repeated tasks to look forward and strive at. So in that sense it does help. Still I can’t wait until Sir returns back. I am sure we have much to talk about and work through.
I am not even sure what to write about. I am just that much running on empty. And that is the lovely reality of blogging. One week you write easily over two thousand words in scarcely under and hour and the other week you are struggling to get bare enough five hundred words onthe paper.
With that said, I think for once I am not going to stress about it. It is a little bit my holiday as well and as such, I think I am allowed to take it a little bit easy. I can hope I am?
So for the next week I have a lot more time, mostly because I am officially on vacation and in change to previous years, I have actually turned all notifications on my phone off, so I won’t get any emails from work safe when I actually go into my own app and start looking at them. It gives me a lot more peace of mind then I actually thought.
Okay, I am definately starting to waffle incoherently, so I am keeping this horribly short. Besides, I still have my diary to update and write, and then to bed. I really don’t want to be getting into the habit of getting to bed later then 01:00AM even on my holiday, actually being in bed by 12 sounds late enough really.
I am struggling at the moment with coming up with thoughts that I had on BDSM during the week. And while this is something that was started by another dominant, I do think it is a helpful tool to see where my mind is at. Perhaps in time I shall move it to my diary section. Time will tell
And since today is officially over and a new day starts – it is done and over with. Hafve a great week folks and I hope to see you all much later this week.
With love, happyness and cake please
Lexi
My thoughts this week on BDSM
- Punishment; That still weight heavily on my mind, and the special rules that are still in effect make things a bit harder.
- Special Rules; How they affect me, how they make me feel
- Distance; both as punishment and just because that is how real life sometimes plays out
Hang in there, keep you chin up. hugs.