“I don’t like the word ‘suspicious,’” my friend said while reviewing my list of “little things that can change the world.” “Use ‘be discerning’ or ‘filter.’” “‘Suspicious’ is too negative.”

But I’ve been thinking about it and a healthy dose of suspicion seems right. We’ve already looked at this in terms of ourselves. “Be willing to be wrong.” Maybe the idea, or, in this case, the word ‘suspicious,’ is wrong. Maybe wanting to make suspicion sound better helps us avoid dealing with it. In my mind if I’m being discerning, I’m making good choices. Suspicious?  I can’t take myself that seriously. Perhaps that choice, idea, or action is just ridiculous or, simply, wrong.

It’s easier, and perhaps more useful, to see how this works in the world around us. We are inundated with information these days. But when radio and newspapers were our main sources, it was clear that facts were often wrong. And on the Internet anyone can publish anything. And do. All you need is one instance of knowing the facts. Perhaps it’s an article about you. “But, but, I never lived in New Jersey. I just have friends there.” “Sedgwick Glues Shakespeare”  [true title of a newspaper article]. Well, I may have jokingly said that, but the whole piece was a little more grandiose than the facts.

I’ve been introduced with titles I’ve never had. (The number of places I’ve been the “director” when I wasn’t or one place where I was and was called the office assistant…) And we’ve all seen things on Facebook incorrectly identified. None of which matter. But they were wrong. Period. For example on Facebook there are petitions to sign that are years old and therefore not relevant. And then there are the stories that make us angry and, if we dare investigate, are simply not true. Or have only a thread of truth in a complicated woven fabric of misrepresentations.

The website Snopes has saved many a reputation when someone was suspicious about the facts and checked. Of course there are also suspicions about Snopes, especially when the apparent truth isn’t what someone wants it to be, which is usually when politics is involved. And then there is the fact that the online source of all information Wikipedia  requests new facts and updates and is apparently written by anyone willing to write. That information too can be simply wrong or misleading when one knows the facts.

With print or media, news often seems geared to what sounds sensational rather than to what’s actually happening. For example I knew people who were participating in a major peace conference in Southern Africa where all the media reports talked about how the process had fallen apart, people had walked out, and tension abounded. Yes, a few people representing major countries walked out. But those who remained, including people affiliated with those who “walked out,”  had an incredibly productive and peaceful event—something that the press people covering the event on location finally told the participants their bosses wouldn’t print or broadcast even though they dutifully sent in the stories. The news was the walk-out and the fact the major world event was actually meeting its goals was not going to be shared.

Look at trying to untangle the truth in politics. Sometimes one has copies of speeches, but even then it is hard to verify the events and facts the speeches cite. Accusations are shared whether based on fact or not. But all of this is printed, broadcast, retweeted, and shared by those who want it to be true or are afraid it might be.

Finally look at your own life and history.

Could there be another reason Sue didn’t return your call besides because you told her she doesn’t look great in green? Might that cute girl not be ignoring you because you don’t look fit, but because you look interesting and she’s afraid? And what about that ad you almost didn’t open that turned out to be a scholarship offer [true story]?

Is your version of the Sunday afternoon at the beach, which you remember vividly and so assume is true, the same as your partner’s or child’s? I’d bet not. Maybe I just have a bad memory, but I hear all the time of events shared and places I’ve been that I don’t remember at all and different details about the events I do.

Suspicious. Suspicion. The challenge here is not to give up or even to question everything, but to be healthily skeptical. Do it, perhaps, as a game when people seem to be taking things very seriously or not seriously enough, in your opinion. If something seems like gossip, for example, and it matters to you to know, find out. Shoot, go ask. Is something too good to be true? Check it out. For it is your world that is being filtered here. And how we protect ourselves and present ourselves impacts the whole.

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Photo credits from the top:
Ipswich, Waterfront, Ipswich Campus, The Big Question Mark Sculpture — Martin Pettitt
Movie poster — source unknown
Magnifying glass on lock — Spirit Moxie (with thanks to Sherry Runyon of Kontras)