In the darkness of the night I hear him calling. His voice, his breath, in my ear. I close my eyes tightly, I hold my breath, I try to hide. I feel his hands touching me, his lips on my neck, the warmth of his body pressing against my own. He squeezes my breast, bites my neck, hard. As I feel his hand slip beneath my panties, I open my eyes wide & bolt out of bed. I turn and look, he isn’t there. I was not dreaming, there is nothing that can convince me of that. I feel my neck, it’s damp.

Over the following weeks my girlfriends are convinced I have a “not so secret” secret boyfriend. That I’m hiding a relationship. They don’t notice that I’m tense, stressed, completely freaked out. I’m tired, they think I’ve been up with my man all night. They notice the bite marks on my neck, hickeys that I try to hide. They see me moving slowly, and are quietly jealous about how much sex I seem to be having.

After a couple of months, my best girlfriend sits down with me and tells me she’s concerned. I’ve never kept any man a secret from her for so long. Hell, she’s always known I wanted someone before I even knew it. It’s the first time we’ve had a chance to talk alone in a while, I tell her everything. I tell her when it started, how it started with just hearing his voice. Within a couple of nights he was in my bed, not long after that I’m getting fucked in my dreams, unable to awaken. Waking to find bite marks, blood (mine), bruises, pain. I know he’s fucking me hard, fast, without mercy. My body betrays me every night and I cum so many times I am surprised I have anything left. I can barely walk come the morning light, I’m spending half an hour in the shower just so that I can go into work. I must admit I’m not hugely surprised when she doesn’t believe me. I’m living it and I find hard to believe. She leaves, angry with me for lying to her, angry because I refuse to introduce her to this sex machine.

I ache all over, last night was rough. I take a couple of pain pills and go to have a nap. It’s only ever at night that he comes, so I grab sleep when I can. As sleep claims me, I hear him chuckling softly, “They’ll never believe you my love”. I wake a few hours later, it’s beginning to get dark, there is a rose on the other pillow. Blood on the thorns…

Crimson Duchess