The Chinese Woman (season 6, episode 4)

written by Peter Mehlman, directed by Andy Ackerman
original airdate: October 13, 1994

George’s phone lines get crossed with Donna Chang’s and Jerry winds up dating her. Estelle Costanza gets relationship advice from her. It turns out she’s not Chinese.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv

Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry meets Donna Chang, an apparent Chinese woman, when her “rines are crossed” with George’s phone, and she ends up convincing George’s parents to not get a divorce. Kramer finds an interesting alternative to Jockeys to fight to his low sperm count. Elaine realizes she may have inadvertently broken up Noreen and Paul, “the long talker.”

Monk’s Café
George questions Frank about the mysterious man in the cape, while Frank counters with questions on why Jerry and Elaine didn’t say hello. Noreen figures out that Elaine was responsible for her and Paul breaking up.

CHINA (map)
Jerry mentions China in his opening monologue, crediting the Chinese people for sticking to chopsticks, even though they are by now aware of other cutlery technology.

La Loma
New York, NEW YORK
This is seen in the exterior shot of a New York street, where Jerry and Elaine spot Frank Costanza and the man in the cape.

Pacific Rim, ASIA
Jerry gleefully declares that his date with Donna is his “first date ever with the Pacific Rim” – this generally applies to any country that touches the Pacific Ocean, but in Jerry’s instance, refers specifically to Asian nations on the Pacific Rim (Brunei, Cambodia, China, East Timor, Indonesia, Japan, Malaysia, North Korea, Philippines, Russia, Singapore, South Korea, Taiwan, Thailand and Vietnam).

Bowen Fertility Clinic (NOW CLOSED)
320 E. 15th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 1st Avenue (L)
Kramer goes here for a fertility test, and discovers he’s a little low…and thus must switch to boxers from Jockeys. This is the same building as George’s optometrist in “The Fatigues.”

Elaine’s Apartment
This is the first appearance of Elaine’s second apartment, since being evicted from her previous apartment in “The Opposite.” Elaine tries to slip a call past Noreen’s new boyfriend Paul, the “long talker.”

Hunan Balcony (NOW CLOSED)
2596 Broadway, New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 96th Street (1,2,3)
Donna and Jerry go here, based on Donna’s suggestion, as Jerry assumes that she, as an Asian woman, is “very assimilated.”

Queens, NEW YORK (map)
Frank remarks to George that unlike Queens, Manhattan apparently has no mosquitoes, an idea George is quite skeptical with.

Columbus Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
In a deleted scene, when Jerry asks George if its a good idea to head to Queens to confront his parents about their upcoming divorce, George responds with “I’m parked on Columbus, I gotta move the car anyway.”

Brooklyn Bridge
Brooklyn, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: High Street (A,C)
Jerry mentions that Elaine shouldn’t tell Noreen to jump from here, as she has a huge influence on her life. Noreen is later about to jump, but is saved by Frank’s lawyer, the man in the cape.

Costanza House
Frank and Estelle reconcile for their divorce thanks to Donna Chang, but end up divorcing when Estelle discovers that Donna is not really a Chinese woman.

Noreen’s apartment
212 W. 85th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 86th Street (1)
Kramer heads over to Noreen’s to console her…and ends up spreading the Kramer name (by way of the Kramer seed, and the lack of Jockeys). Thanks Erkan B. for the tip!

Long Island, NEW YORK (map)
Donna tells Estelle she is not in fact Chinese, but is really from Long Island…and thus Frank and Estelle must divorce because “she’s not taking advice from some girl from Long Island!”

Kew Gardens, Queens, NEW YORK (map)
George mentions he had to go from lunch with his mother (probably near her house in Flushing) to see his father in Kew Gardens to play Clue.

Kramer’s Apartment
Kramer gleefully announces to the gang from his apartment window that Noreen is late, and thus the Kramer name will live on.