The Masseuse (season 5, episode 9)

written by Peter Mehlman, directed by Tom Cherones
original airdate: November 18, 1993

Jerry’s masseuse girlfriend won’t give him a massage. Elaine dates Joel Rifkin – not the mass murderer.

FEATURED LOCATIONS

The Improv

Jerry’s Apartment
Jerry complains about a lack of massages from his new masseuse girlfriend, getting so desperate he tries to forcibly receive a massage, causing Jodi to storm out in disgust. Jodi’s hatred of George ends up turning him on, as “she just dislikes me so much… it’s irresistible.”

Monk’s Café
George obsesses over the fact that Jerry’s masseuse girlfriend Jodi does not like him, which he discusses first with Jerry, then with his girlfriend Karen.

Pendant Publishing
Elaine tells her coworkers that her boyfriend’s name is Joel Rifkin, leading to jokes and cracks at Joel (the boyfriend’s) expense about the other Joel Rifkin.

La Boite en Bois
75 W. 68th St., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 66th Street – Lincoln Center (1)
A flashback is shown from “The Mango,” showing George’s discussion with Karen about how she feels full after the risotto.

IDAHO (map)
Jerry mentions to George that Jodi not wanting to give him a massage instead of sex is like going to Idaho and asking for a carrot: “I like carrots, but I’m in Idaho…I want a potato!”

Hunan 5th Ave. (NOW CLOSED)
323 Fifth Ave., New York, NEW YORK (map)
nearest subway: 34th Street – Herald Square (B,D,F,M,N,Q,R)
Jerry, Jodi, George and Karen go on a double date here, where George becomes suspicious that Jodi does not like him…and his suspicions are right.

Elaine’s Apartment
Elaine and Joel Rifkin argue over potential new names for Joel…including Stewart, Todd, Ned or Remy.

Giants Stadium (NOW CLOSED)
50 Route 120, East Rutherford, NEW JERSEY (map)
Elaine, Joel and Kramer go to see the Giants host the Philadelphia Eagles. The game goes into overtime (Kramer catches the game-winning field goal ball), and Elaine finds out Joel is adopted. Kramer tries picking up tickets at will-call, but cannot get because he does not have his wallet, and thus Joel is called over the PA system, where the entire stadium hears his familiar name.

Karen’s apartment
New York, NEW YORK
George and Karen continue to fight over George’s obsession that Jodi may not like him.

SWEDEN (map)
Jerry mentions Sweden in his closing monologue, noting how the Swedish are big into getting “meat in their hands,” between the massages and the meatballs. He also notes that for a neutral country, Sweden is pretty tense, as they have a very high suicide rate.