You never really
found out why…
I had to withdraw a while
I never had the heart
to tell you the truth
why I had to stay apart;
I realize your behaviour
was not totally your fault
indeed your demeanour
was only due to your condition,
if only
you had taken your meds
assured me you were okay
getting help finally,
taking control of your life,
but our last few encounters
you were so very different
unlike the friend I knew 10 years
I could no longer pretend
and had to take a step back,
if only
I`m so sorry I let you down,
I didn’t have the energy,
working 2 jobs to survive,
caring for a dying parent
preparing for a grandchild,
so many responsibilities
so many depended on me,
I did not feel I had it
in me to weather
all those moods
if only
I knew what I know now
maybe…
just maybe
I’d have tried a bit harder
if only
I had
I’m sorry I let you down
just wasn’t around
to help you when
you needed a friend
if only
I had been that one
I’m so sorry.
© WI, 2014/05/31
Traces of the Soul 
Reblogged this on sueshan123blog.
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Beautiful, and obviously so heartfelt.
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Thank you, Karuna, for reading this apology…yes, it was genuine.
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These apologetic poems are very cathartic aren’t they. You have expressed this one so very well Oliana. Well done.
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I am glad Pooky said to choose a person we never apologized to. You’re right, Michael, it was cleansing…I think it’s time to let it go.
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Feeling your pain through your words. Trusting that release/relief is found.
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Thanks so much. Actually writing this was a very healthy and therapeutic exercise.
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Awe that makes me want to cry I really feel your sorrow and apology i just wish things had been different for you both xx
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This makes me cry too. So beautiful I could feel it in my bones.
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This must have been very hard to write – it feels like you’ve held onto these feelings for a long time. I’m sorry, that must be very hard. I hope you found it helpful to apologise and I’m so sorry about your friend xxx
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It was difficult but your prompt came at a good time so I could finally put this to rest.
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