There are times when we at Animetics like to slow down, get serious, and look at the finer points of what defines excellence. This, much like our seasonal anime previews, is not one of those features. There’s no objective way of determining who the best anime character actually is, and we don’t claim to be any more accurate than a series of purely random coin flips. That said, welcome to Charactology 2012, the Animetics bracketology-inspired character polling feature.

Charactology is ever so slightly different from a standard popularity poll for three reasons. One, we have a cool-looking bracket picture (props to Nathan at argibi for the art), with seed numbers and everything. Two, we’ll be holding one poll per day and accompanying each vote with little debateette features explaining why you should vote for both characters. Most people will vote for what they know anyway, but hopefully the arguments themselves should let more people get in on the fun. Three, we’re only going to be arguing personality. No “who would win in a fight” superpower crap (plus, there’s already a site dedicated to that that’s really good at it); one of the main tenets of Charactology is a hypothetical where we swap the characters out and discuss how each would do in the other’s universe, with the other’s superpowers/talents. Even if you take away his gadgets and stick him in a romantic comedy, Lupin III is still capital-L Lupin III and is still probably making whatever show he’s in anime of the year.

This Bracket allows us to ask the really stupid stupid questions like (potentially) “What if Dio Brando was Lupin’s best friend?” “What if Poyo and Nyanko-sensei had a buddy cop drama show?” “Is Kamiigusa Misaki or Nyaruko the better high-energy love interest character?” “What if Aquarion EVOL was even more about BL than it already is?” See, you’re having fun already!

On that note, here are my favorite storylines going into round 1:

1. Will a one-seed go down in the first round?

If I know anything about our readers, I think Lupin III and Joeseph Joestar are relative locks for the second round. But Mutta and Saber both emerged from our arguments somewhat more vulnerable than we expected. Will both still be able to make it, or are we getting a super-8 surprise?

2. Sato Poyo, champion of catness

One of our chosen champions is a adorably round and undeniably badass cat, who at one point impersonates superman and at another duels with an immortal supertoad. If people are taking this bracket with the right amount of seriousness, he’s a sleeper candidate to win it all.

3. Comedy/Drama Balance

Our round 1 lineup is just about evenly split between characters who specialize in being funny and characters who specialize in being serious. I’m not sure which type will make it out of round one, but it’ll be interesting to see.

The first match of the first round is up right now. If you haven’t yet punched your monitor screen in disgust, go check it out.