When I was in high school I used to run home every day after school so I could watch Sailor Moon, as it was on five minutes after class ended. I almost always made it in time to catch the intro. I wasn’t ashamed to tell people at school that I was a fan. There are a couple of pictures of me wearing a Sailor Moon button in my highschool yearbook, one from prom and one from graduation. I bring this up to explain that I’m not exactly close-minded or normal. Since then I have managed to acquire the complete original Sailormoon in Japanese and I’m not against watching it sometimes. My friends do not understand, but that’s okay. I don’t understand a lot of the things they do. Long story short, I met up with a bunch of people I used to talk to about Sailor Moon and a bunch of them told me they left it behind. I don’t have a problem with that. People change, right? The only thing is, some of these same friends (and by some I mean a scary amount of them) are now heavily into My Little Pony and gladly call themselves “Bronies”. I’d heard of Bronies before. This isn’t my first day online. This is the first time I’ve heard of people who had similar interests as mine being Bronies, though, and I’m a little scared.

If you haven’t heard the legends, Bronies are people of varying degrees of obsession involving My Little Pony. Some people will tell you they’re all perverted and that they want to sleep with cartoon ponies. That when they masturbate and watch the show at the same time they call it “clopping”. I won’t deny that I’ve seen evidence of this in various places, but I don’t think that all Bronies are quite this.. extreme. Some of them are just as pleased by the show as I was with Sailormoon, and I’m not here to judge. I’m just a little concerned. Have you seen any of the youtube videos of men in college doing class presentations on My Little Pony? This is taking it a little further than being a fan, fellows. If the questions the classes (yes, plural. I’ve seen at least six of these videos) ask afterwards are any indication, these gentlemen sit by themselves in the cafeteria. This is probably best for everybody.

The plus side of this is if you have any of the figurines left over from your childhood the value on them is apparently going through the roof. People are forming collections that could frighten the harshest of criminals, and apparently the sky’s the limit as far as prices go. One thing you can say for Bronies is that they know what they like and they’ll pay whatever it takes to get it. It’s somewhat like cocaine, but with less burning holes in your nose. I’m pretty sure the implications on your social life are identical, though. So why?

I’m afraid I can’t tell you. I’m open-minded, sure. I’m even a little curious as to why people are so interested. I mean, a lot of them say that the show has a lot of adult humour in it, and I understand that part a bit. I loved the show Ned’s Newt. I used to watch it at night when I was in college, and I contend that a lot of the jokes in the show were intended for the parents watching and it really did make me laugh a lot. It did that because the show was basically a rip-off of Aladdin. The newt was big and blue and turned into different people from televsion shows. How is My Little Pony funny like that? I don’t know. I went to many babysitters in my youth and was forced to watch the original My Little Pony with all the other kids, but I don’t remember it that well. Why don’t I watch some episodes to find out? It’s simple: I’m afraid. I’m very afraid. What happens if I submerge myself in the culture to see what it’s about and.. and actually like it? What if it is funny? People often tell you to be more open-minded, but is that always the best advice? Sometimes it’s a cross to bear, trust me. Nietzsche said, “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.” I don’t know if I want My Little Pony to gaze into me, in all honesty.

So I just watched the intro for what I believe is the new show. I still don’t get it, but that’s a good thing. I really don’t get why some people are turned on by it, but it’s pretty hard to name anything that some freak isn’t turned on by, so you can’t really hold that against the rest of the fans. What I did learn is that Pinky Pie is “easy”, which I’m sure is where a lot of this trouble came from. Don’t be such a slut, Pinky Pie. Let the Bronies like you for you, not for how much you put out. I’ll leave you with a spot of some of the best news ever. If you didn’t know, Sailor Moon has been picked up again and will be releasing new episodes this year. The same talented individuals will be working on the show and it will be picking up where it left off. Don’t be afraid to like the things you like, but do us all a favour; if they’re really weird don’t do college presentations about them. Just keep them for you. It’s more special that way.