I’ve REALLY Messed Up – How Do I Make Things Right with God?
The guilt of sin can be soul-crushing and overwhelming.
Sin always gives birth to death and destruction. Death of our relationship with God. Death of our relationships with people.
It can cause HUGE anxiety, worry, dread and fear in our lives. It can even make us physically sick.
What if you are stuck in sin of some kind – how can you get out of that situation and come back to Christ?
Thankfully – we serve a God who is able to forgive sin. ALL sin.
WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!
We ALL are wretched sinners in God’s sight.
We ALL desperately need the blood of Jesus to cleanse our sin and make us right with God.
None of us has anything good in us on our own that would entitle us to deserve to be close to God or deserve heaven or deserve His praise.
THANKFULLY – we serve a God of second chances.
Sin means – “to miss the mark.”
It is an archery term. If I miss the mark by 100 yards – that is a “sin.” If I miss the target by 1/2 inch – that is a “sin.” Sin is anything that we think, say or do that falls short of God’s holy standard of perfection. We are all born into sin. We inherited our sinful nature from Adam and Eve. It only takes ONE SIN in our lifetime to make us qualify as “sinners.”
Sometimes we think that some sins are not “that bad.” But when Adam and Eve took one bite of fruit from the tree in the Garden of Eden – notice how serious the consequences were to that “little sin.” The whole world was cursed. Men and women were cursed throughout the rest of time. They were condemned to die physical death – them and all of their descendents after them. They were severed from communion with God now. Sin also separates us from God after we die. We cannot enter heaven when we have sin in our hearts.
WHAT KINDS OF THINGS COUNT AS SIN IN GOD’S HOLY EYES?
- putting ANYTHING above Him in our hearts (idolatry) – ie: romance, feeling loved, being in control, SELF, your husband, making a lot of money, beauty, thinness, power, fame, etc… Thinking, “I MUST HAVE THIS TO BE HAPPY! I will do ANYTHING to get it!”
- greed
- selfishness
- PRIDE
- unforgiveness
- bitterness
- resentment
- gossip
- materialism
- slander
- hatred
- contempt
- rage
- causing divisions at church, at work or in the family
- trying to control others
- people pleasing (idolatry of other’s approval instead of God’s approval)
- wanting to hurt someone else physically/emotionally/mentally
- stealing
- sex outside of marriage
- being ungodly stewards of all the resources He has given us
- lying
- envying others
- trusting something other than God – self, money, the government, a guy, etc…
- lusting after a person in our minds
- not believing God and His Word
- not obeying God about ANYTHING He commands us to do in the Bible
- living in worry, doubt and fear instead of trusting God and living in His peace
- not giving to those in need
- disrespect for those in God-given authority over us
- thinking we are so much “better than” someone else
- thinking we know better than God and we are wiser than God
- living for self
- getting drunk/high
- doing anything that does not come from faith in Christ
- not loving people with God’s love
- having an addiction to anything that is not Jesus
- living foolishly in God’s eyes
- attempting to earn God’s favor and earn heaven as if we could be “good enough” on our own
- complaining and arguing
- not totally submitting ourselves to Christ in everything
This is NOT an exhaustive list – but I think it will give you the general idea.
If you have been sinning –
- it is time to see your sin the way God sees it.
- It is time to turn away from everything that offends our holy God.
- It is time to turn to Christ and find healing, hope, restoration and abundant life.
It’s not too late for you! There is EVERY reason to hope in Christ Jesus and in what HE has done on your behalf.
If you don’t have a relationship with Christ – please check out this post about how to begin a relationship with Him.
If you DO have a relationship with Him – and have given Him your life, trusting Him to be your Savior and Lord – but have been living in ways that displease God… let’s talk about how to make things right.
WHAT DOES GOD’S WORD SAY?
This is the most important thing! How does God say we can be made right with Him?
- The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 3:23
- If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:8-9
- My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have One who speaks to the Father in our defense – Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. I John 2:1-2
- We know that we have come to know Him if we obey His commands. The man who says, “I know Him,” but does not do what He commands is a liar and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys God’s Word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did. I John 2:4-5
- No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen Him or known Him… No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother. I John 3:6, 9-10
- And this is His command: to believe in the Name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as He commanded us. Those who obey His commands live in Him, and He in them. And this is how we know that He lives in us: We know it by the Spirit He gave us. I John 3:23-24
- The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:22-24
- I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds. Acts 26:20
- The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves Me must follow Me; and where I am, My servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. John 12:25-26
- If anyone loves Me, he will obey My teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come and make our home with him. He who does not love Me will not obey My teaching. John 14:23-24a
So, we must
1. See our sin clearly and see how serious, nasty and repulsive it is to God.
2. Turn from our sin and not go in that direction anymore = repent. Make a 180 degree turn away from sin.
3. Turn to Christ and ask Him to be our LORD – not just our Savior. Yes, His blood saves us from the penalty of hell when we trust His death on our behalf to satisfy God’s wrath against our sin. God replaced the massive sin debt in our account with the limitless righteousness/holiness of Jesus when we trust Him as Savior.
But He cannot only be our Savior – we must also submit ourselves FULLY to Him as LORD of ALL in our lives. He gave ALL He had and ALL He was for us. Now we give ALL to Him. We give Him full control and reign. We seek His will not our own. We die to our old sinful self and put on a new self in Christ. The purpose of our life from this moment on is only to bring glory and honor to Jesus and to love and bless others. We allow God to completely change our hearts, minds and souls by His power to make us more and more like Christ. This is the process of sanctification – the life long process of bending our will and our lives to God’s will so that He can make us like Jesus by His power. We have to have His Spirit do this work in us. We cooperate with Him – but it is HIS power, not ours, that enables us to walk in obedience to Him.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR ME?
If you know that you have committed sin against God…
1. Acknowledge the seriousness of your sin and the cost of your sin in God’s sight.
2. Agree with God that you sinned and were wrong and turn away from that sin. Don’t live in it anymore. Ask Him to give you the power to live for Him. He can do this! We cannot!
3. Seek God and desire to please and obey Him above all else.
If you have been covering up sin in your life – this will mean that you will have to say something to your husband like:
“I realize that I have sinned against God and against you (specifically name whatever sin you have committed). I was VERY WRONG. I want to please God more than anything else in my life. I can’t live like this anymore. I repent to God and I repent to you. I know I don’t deserve forgiveness. I want so much to become the woman and wife God desires me to be.”
If you have had an affair – whether emotional or physical, it will be necessary to break all contact with this man. Even if it means quitting your job or changing churches.
If you have an addiction to porn, drugs, gambling or alcohol – please seek godly help.
SOME RESOURCES FOR ADDICTIONS:
– Celebration Recovery
– Narcotics Anonymous
– Alcoholics Anonymous
– The Salvation Army (alcohol/drug issues/counseling/talking about how to have a relationship with Christ)
MAKE GOD THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE. HE WANTS TO BE COMPLETELY INVOLVED IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE – NOT JUST A TINY PART OF IT.
- Take some time alone and really seek God with all your heart without any distractions.
- Find a godly, wise mentoring older woman who can pray with you and counsel you and hopefully a godly Christian female counselor.
- Spend SERIOUS time in God’s Word daily – seeking Him with all your heart and confessing every sin, allowing Him to change you to be the woman He wants you to be. Pray fervently that God will change YOU and that He might glorify Himself in your life.
- Find your contentment in Christ alone.
- Make no provision for the flesh. Don’t put yourself in a super tempting situation.
- Consider making new boundaries to protect your marriage – if you have sinned in some way against your husband – maybe no meeting alone with men, no private messaging/talking/emailing. Have an accountability partner. Be totally transparent with your husband. Allow him full access to all of your accounts any time. Be trustworthy and faithful from this point on. Have grace for him as he deals with the pain your sin has caused. Pray for God to heal and restore your marriage and for His greatest glory in your life.
YES, this will be PAINFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, you will not want to do these things at first.
But it is necessary in order to get things right with God. Your being right with Him HAS to be your greatest priority if he is your Lord. Be willing to obey Him no matter what He asks of you. Be willing to give up anything that God hates. Be willing to hold everything else very loosely in your hands in order to be available completely and wholly devoted to Christ. Hold nothing back from Him. Allow Him FULL access to your life, heart, mind and soul.
There is no guarantee your husband or others will forgive you or that he will stay if you have been unfaithful or if there are addictions or major sins in your past. Let’s pray for God’s will and for His Spirit to work in your husband’s heart as you focus on your own relationship with God.
This is the path to God’s peace and joy. And it is the path to the abundant spiritual life God promises to those who follow Him.
The Peaceful Wife 
Thank you!
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Hi, April,
Thank you for a very timely post. I have recently realized how I have been damaging my marriage & hurting my husband with my behavior. I have confessed to him how I have been wrong, am in the quiet phase (because I have no clue what to do!), & am struggling with turning away from the behavior. It’s like my muscles have been trained to go in this bad direction! This post has given me the motivation to keep going even though it feels hopeless. I appreciate you being so direct with your posts. I find myself headed into self-pity or whining, read a post & then realize I need to keep going. Does it get any easier? Right now is so hard. After 17 years of sinful anger & pride, I sometimes wonder if this will get any better.
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Dandeliondaughter,
Sweet sister in The Lord! YES! It does get easier as self stays on the cross and as you practice stopping respect and learn to speak this new foreign language. It takes TIME. PRAYER. Seeking God with all your heart. A total willingness to surrender to Christ. And pure motives – only desiring to know and please Jesus not change our husbands.
But, yes, it does get easier. At first it is like spiritual and emotional contortion. It felt like that for 2 years for me. Contortion. Awkward. Foreign. I felt like I was trying to learn Chinese with no book and no instructor.
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This was really meaningful. I’m 19 and have a particular sin problem, I am and have been a Christian for a long time, but there is a certain sin which is killing my relationship, but if I end this sin I will hurt a lot of friends of mine. Jesus comes first and I know what I have to do, I just need the courage to do it, please pray for me, and thank you for writing this post. God bless 🙂
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Lorna,
It is wonderful to meet you!
It is hard to give up sin, especially if it is something that is encouraged and endorsed by your friends. But it is more than worth it in our relationship with Christ. Be strong and courageous! Seek God’s approval, not your friends’ approval.
I have a post you may want to check out – you can search my home page for “The Snare of People Pleasing.”
Much love, praying for God’s wisdom and strength for you!
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Thank you, very VERY much for your help, and for allowing God to use you in such a way.
Lorna ❤
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You are most welcome, Lorna!
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i have sinned before GOD and i don’t know what to do and the worst part is that i cannot even pray because i think i am dirty before GOD…..what do i do?
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THERRY,
Thankfully, there is no sin God cannot forgive through the power of the blood of Christ.
Do you have a relationship with Jesus?
God hears a humble cry of repentance, “God, I am such a sinner! Please forgive me!”
I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
There is a post at the top of my home page about how to have a relationship with Christ.
Or we can talk more about it here.
You don’t have to clean yourself up first. You go to God like we all do – in our filth – and ask for the blood of Jesus to cleanse your sins – put all your faith and trust in Him alone to pay for your massive sin debt to God and yield your life totally to Him as LORD of your life. You give Him all of yourself – all your sin, brokenness, wretchedness and inability to live a holy life – then He gives you all of Himself, all of His power, righteousness, holiness, forgiveness, mercy, grace, love and acceptance. When you receive Jesus and begin to build your life on Him alone, Jesus take all the weight of your sin and pays for it out of His account. He ‘Trades bank accounts’ with you. He fills your indebted account with His limitless supply. Then when God looks at you, He sees His Son. You can be totally forgiven by God and washed clean. Then you can begin a new life in Christ and begin to live for Him as a living sacrifice each day. 🙂
Check out “Stages of This Journey”
Much love!
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Very challenging, sobering and in-your-face! I look at myself and those around me and realise we were all created for greatness, yet fall so short. Oh how to get to thay sweet spot and stay there but alas our fickle feet they stray so far from the goodness of God. May He who lives forever have mercy on us and give us strength to live the best life possible, to His glory. Carpe Diem.
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adventurer4life,
Yes, may God empower us to walk in obedience and to never stray off of His narrow path that leads to life!!! It’s great to meet you! 🙂
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I am so ashamed to ask this, but do any of you christian ladies have “sexual dysfunction” in your marriage? I am stuck with this. I know that the Bible teaches that we are not to deny our spouses needs, but what happens when one spouse in the marriage develops sexual aversion? What happens when “the marriage bed has become defiled?” OR, there is no “sexual desire whatsoever?” Does God view this as a sin? I am very confused and fear I have lost my fellowship with God. I am very heart broken over this. Anyone out there have this problem or am I alone in this? I have really blown it.
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Georgie,
I encourage you to check with your OB/GYN and also to seek biblical counseling from a wise, spiritually mature, godly woman. Would you be able to explain what you mean by- the marriage bed has become defiled? I have some resources for wives in various situations, but I am not sure to which situation you might be referring.
You can also search my home page for “sex” and “sexual” for more posts on this topic.
Also, http://www.forgivenwife.com may be helpful. I read a few posts in it two years ago or so that make me believe it may be a blessing. I haven’t read all the posts since then, so please use your discretion. 🙂
You are most welcome here! I am sending you a huge hug!
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Hi. I am single and want to find a good single blog. I want to live for God and have Him in my life. My life is so messed up and this should not be. I desire God in my life instead of wandering and being blind/lost. Can I just have peace and not be sick and so jacked up? I am ok single but does my whole life have to be life this? I am 40yo. Enough. I was baptized when I was young and did received the holy ghost yrs ago but I went astray and now see this is messed up. I don’t want to be crazy. help I am a nurse, RN and want to get back into L&D but I need to be spiritually minded and help. I did not understand spiritual warfare and feel satan took advantage of me due to lack of knowledge and ignorance.
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Trisha,
The enemy is really good at taking advantage of our lack of knowledge and ignorance. That is for sure. It is wonderful to meet you! You are welcome to check out my blog for single women http://www.peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com. And you are also always welcome here, as well.
Much love to you! I pray you will return to Christ with all your heart!
How to stay filled with the Holy Spirit
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comments on how to make things right in a relationship
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