I was so BLUE EYED…
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I never thought the father of my child could possibly do all these things to wound me. I knew in my heart that God was calling out to me and asking me over and over, “Would you just turn to me? And have a little faith while your at it.” I decided to place myself around other brothers in Christ. I went to a church service called The Journey for my age group (25-30). I hadn’t heard from Derrek in any form or fashion for 5 days. I was so apprehensive about him and didn’t know where else to turn. This service was about letting go of the things in your life that could lead you to sin. I knew what God was telling me, but I didn’t want it to be so. He has been telling me to let go of Derrek, but it is so hard when you truly love someone with all your heart. I came home that night after service and was checking my email, hoping and praying that he at least wrote me something to let me know he was alive. I didn’t receive anything from Derrek. I was crying and praying to the Lord to just please help me understand. I continued to check my email that next couple of days and on that Sunday I was sitting in front of the computer crying and still reaching to God for answers. I still had my email wide open when a message popped up right before my eyes at 1:08 a.m Monday morning. I lost my breath and felt a strong gust of wind slam into my face. I was breathing hard and when I realized what had been sent to me I understood why. I had a message from Derrek’s email account giving me his user name and password. I knew in my heart Derrek did not send me that email. It was the Holy Spirit! It was hair-raising! I had one of the best highs I have ever felt. Then I realized what it was the Lord wanted me to do. I was supposed to look at everything Derrek had been doing so I would understand why I have to let him go. I looked, it hurt, I cried and cried. Then I listened to my God and astonishing things began to happen!
* Added note~ While I was so upset and reaching out for my Lord, others were praying also. I had called Derrek’s brother at this time crying and very upset, I believe he was praying. My mom was also praying at this time. Prayer is so important, it can completely change the outcome of a situation. How can our God help, if we don’t talk with Him and really get to know Him. It is important to always ask for His will be done in each situation.
Colossians 1:9-12 For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light.
JESUS IS MY MYSTERY... CAPTURE ME 