by ANNE GARDNER
Does any of you have a Facebook friend who irritates the living shit out of you, yet you can’t seem to bring yourself to hide their feed?
I’m friends with this girl who is always posting about her kids’ latest illness, her most recent pain or suffering or complaining about her husband who is actually a saint of some sort. In addition, she is painfully honest about her psychological illnesses (anxiety and depression), medications and general well-being.
Today’s FAFBFSU (Fucking Annoying Facebook Friend Status Update): “Feeling extremely anxious today… :| ”
Well, no shit. You have four kids, no money, endless ailments and pain, a job you hate that pays pennies, a husband to match (only God knows why, ’cause he’d have to be some sort of supernatural being to put up with you), 50 extra pounds you’d like to lose but can’t for some unknown reason. (I’ll give you a hint: it probably has something to do with the endless baking recipes you’re posting just after you cook ’em up.)
And, to top it all off, you’re feeling anxious today?
Clearly, the highlight of your entire week is watching “Glee.” It’s the only time you ever post something positive… well, that and the baked goods. For the love of everything holy, pop a fucking pill and have a glass of wine. Wait wait wait, I forgot… you’re too religious to drink. Christ…
We're Not Funny 