Three months later, when they opened the bridge to pedestrian traffic, my mother put on her Easter bonnet and best shoes and took us kids to walk “that bridge.” All the Golden Gate widows were given a place of honor beside the mayor on a platform, and in the warm spring sunshine with a cheering crowd, the bridge boss, Smiling Joe Strauss, called out the names of the men who had died “giving California this greatest of gifts.”
We walked the bridge, and my mother pointed to the soaring red towers, each with 600,000 rivets, she said, put in place by men like my Pa, by their sweat and arms as hard as balcony railings.
“It’s a modern marvel,” everyone said, and they posed for smiling photographs. I wanted to love the bridge, then and ever since. But all I can see of it is cold unyielding steel and a falling man pleading with the sky.
on the last footsteps of the day,
toward the chairs and tables of a vacant restaurant,
quiet furniture waiting for service.
Along the curved backs of the chairs,
it came to rest in bright rectangles,
welcoming and absent.
On the street, no one passed.
The two of them stood in the silent kitchen,
gazing at the glow of it through the serving bay,
her hips pushed against a metal table which slowly turned silky and the color of bright tokens.
They were supposed to be somewhere else,
but instead they captured the light,
as they stroked a warm bronze and stainless dream.
The car shuddered as passing big rigs shoved and shouldered us, like over-sized bullies pushing down school hallways, plowing weaker bodies into lockers. With light fading, our dad silenced the radio and piped his mantra again, something he’d repeated every few miles or so. “Anybody see it yet?”
I didn’t want to miss it… to be the first to pick out the Golden Boy on the horizon, the sun glinting off its golden torch, signifying we were almost home. Eyes wide open, I jockeyed for position on the seat, cheek against the glass. Shit, no sibling was going to beat me out of seeing it first.
See Authors page for Paul de Denus’s bio.
Salary commensurate with the work performed on a busy day, it could be claimed you are a thief of time, surfing the ‘Web, planning without moving toward fruition. Be at every meeting. Offer at least one comment or suggestion from which it may be inferred you have heard everything to which you only half listened. Maintain a switchable screen-saver; preferably one that simulates the appearance of a spreadsheet, but alternate between that and the Manet replicated on the poster brought from Quebec. You chose her favorite. Do unto others… and you’re golden.
Chi needs to flow unobstructed throughout the office, yin and yang balanced in the space. If gossip is to be shared, let it be the good kind, like good and bad cholesterol. All that friendship noise is then mere acquaintance, the music of which plays in an infinite loop, an earwig’s breadth removed from muzak, but pleasant enough, an ambient background in which you recognize the faintest strains of something almost familiar.
If Jack Kennedy had the job, we’d all be better off. Joey was in ‘Nam but had managed to get a telegram–his last words–to them that long-ago day, yellowed paper now pressed into their family Bible. His other brother, Jake, looked like a scarecrow in a tux.
Next to him at the linen-clothed table, she was afar in her mind. He could return, at-will. She was anchored there, untouchable, unreachable.
His life was her present, the reason they wed on her 21st birthday. She swore to drink him in, that day and henceforth. Their lives were as brimmed as her untouched water glass, never empty as her stare.
Rome wisely deemed “L” as their numeral for fifty,” he thought, for love spanning decades, for her loss, first to Alzheimer’s and a subsequent stroke. It was for lucky, for there was no day, no moment or instance when he couldn’t feel lucky to hold the vision of her in their youth.
He moved the spoon to brush her lower lip with a small piece of anniversary-birthday cake, putting it into her mouth, wiping a crumb away at its corner. Tears in the corners of his eyes were emotional tattletales. He smiled at his lifelong love and whispered, “Thank you.”
The anniversary was golden by tradition, his life, gilded by her permeating presence within it.
Eva stepped out back for a smoke and looked down, sighed, then brought Lenny up to the NICU. She said, “Got another one for ya. Ain’t it a shame.”
Before he was able to comprehend comprehension, Lenny went through detox – burning, shaking, freezing, dying. The nurses that checked on him did so through professional eyes, keeping to the symptoms and the charts. NICU nurses learned early on that attachment almost always equaled devastation – numbers and doses don’t make them clutch their children when they get home and vow to never let them out into the world.
On the third floor, a couple was being consoled by the hospital’s grief counselor. Their fifth attempt at carrying a baby to full term had come to an end, as had the previous four. “I’m certainly not trying to convince you to stop working for a child of your own.” A beat “Have you ever considered adoption?”
*****
When Lenny stepped on the bus for his first day of school, he waved goodbye to his mother and blew her a kiss. She smiled and wept, waved goodbye, and gave the tiny blue hospital bracelet a gentle kiss.
On the strength of her impromptu assistance on Tuesday, Liz had asked her to help with the food (she was too young for alcohol) at this Private View at Carrington’s Gallery. The paintings – Annabel’s nudes – were an eye-opener for a start, and then all the people – it was like she’d lived a black and white – a grey! – life up till now and someone had suddenly coloured it in.
She would have expected to be overwhelmed, shy and tongue-tied, but Bernard – she’d only known then that he was Annabel’s brother – had talked to her a bit before it opened, seeing her, once Liz was ready, go round looking, and he’d somehow made it easy to ask about them, not made her feel ignorant – he even said he found people scary – and afterwards he’d talked a bit more, told her who some of the people were (although he didn’t know that many), and she’d met Annabel.
She been tearful when it had ended, seeing it as a world she’d never be able to find her way into again, though when Bernard asked her to sit for him, she had not thought ‘that’ll be a step in the right direction’, just knew that it felt right, she wanted to.
He was handsome in an athletic movie-star sort of way. He was smarter than ninety-nine percent of his peers. A brilliant, creative and innovative thinker, he solved problems both simple and complex without looking like he was trying very hard to solve them. He was unflappable, calm to a fault, and never let anybody see him sweat. Hell, he didn’t sweat, except in his gym.
He married the prettiest girl on campus, who was also brilliant, of course. Janice became a noted physician while Bernard was in finance, banking, venture capital management, the stock market and bond trading. Together they had access to more money on a moment’s notice than most third-world countries. Their house did not look like a house, but a place you usually see sitting adjacent to a world-class championship golf course, which they also had, in the “backyard,” bordering the sea. Their garage was almost as big as the Dallas Cowboy’s indoor practice facility, and it was packed with vintage motorcars, modern roadsters, motorcycles and all manner of off-road vehicles. There was a helipad on the property and a helicopter ready on a moment’s notice.
Bernard was golden. He took big risks and made big profits. His gambits were complex but lucrative and he almost never lost a bet, until yesterday.