Hank and Rupert Storm the Castle – The 48^th story in The #HankSaga By Dan Leicht @Deeliopunk @HankSaga

Hank and Rupert were best of friends, inseparable some might say. Some might even say they were better friends than you and that kid you met in Math class in the 2^nd grade. You know the one I’m talking about, don’t act like you don’t. He has a nice job, and a pretty fiancé, while you have what? A filthy room in an apartment? And what’s that next to you? A stack of books? Have you even read all of those books? You have? What are you doing reading books all the time when you should be trying to get a fiancé like this successful kid I’m comparing you with?

Ahem, well anywaaaaaaay, Hank and Rupert went on many adventures together. And one of their best and most adventurous adventures I’m about to tell you about right about now.

“Rupert? Ruupert?!” said Hank as he walked into the woods looking for his friend dragon.

“Sup, Hank? I’m just relaxing over here next to this mini-bar,” replied Rupert from next to the mini-bar.

“Since when has this been here?” asked Hank, obviously amazed.

“Don’t be so obvious about your amazement, Hank. And this story is about us storming the castle; I’ve been waiting two whole paragraphs for you to show up. What’s with this narrator anyway?” said Rupert with a succession of growls and snarls I’m translating for you to the best of my ability. “This narrator is super awesome, and it the best narrator we’ve ever had. I love this narrator with all my heart,” he said too…he did…I’m not kidding he totally said it.

“Okay let’s storm the castle. Do you have your key to the magical box?” said Hank and he pulled his key out from his shirt pocket. Really? Who actually uses those shirt pockets on t-shirts? Is anyone out there actually putting things into those pockets? I’d like to hear about it. What could you possibly be carrying that would make sense to put into those flimsy pockets? You have four pockets on your pants. Four pockets! How much stuff do you have to carry?

Oh, yeah, Hank and Rupert. So they both took out their keys and walked up to the magical box. The box had two slots, one for each of their keys (duh). They put the keys in at the same time, turned them, and the box flung open. Hank grabbed the item inside and then climbed onto Rupert’s back.

“Onforth and onward!” shouted Hank with his eyes closed for some reason.

They arrived at the castle half past storming time and were told by the guards they’d have to wait until morning.

“Nonsense!” cried Hank like a wittle baby.

He pulled out the wand that he’d pulled from the box – you know the one I’m talking about right? It was like two seconds ago. You have to know what I’m talking about, you do? Okay good.

With the wand in Hank he flew up on Rupert’s back and shot from the wand from the magical box lightning bolts, rain clouds, sleet, hail, snow (Get it? “Storm” the castle…man…I’m hilarious).

“We told you it’s too late for storming the castle!” shouted the guard from down below.

“What? You want more storm for your castle?” said Hank in that tone where you know he obviously heard the guy but he’s pretending he didn’t so he can keep being annoying.

Hank and Rupert stormed the castle all night and into the wee hours of the morning. And that kids, is the story of how Hank and Rupert stormed the castle.

“Seriously, this is the best narrator ever,” said Rupert.

By Dan Leicht (D.e.e.L) November 17th 2014

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Hank’s friend Charles Splints has a new story out!